By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 3 December 1999

The Jury is Still Out...

I wish I could have come to your change of command
thing this morning. I've been sitting on my ass
in this courtroom since 8:26. It is now 12:20.
Everyone has gone to lunch except for me. I just
had some peanut M&M's and generic cheese twists so
I'm good. 
   I don't know how I've managed to stay awake. I was
up until two this morning. I was in Weatherford helping
Holly with her contact paper while the guys brought in
the furniture. I had to recruit my friend Chase (he goes
by Mike now but I still call him Chase) because none of
Ryan's friends would come through for him. It's kinda
funny/ironic that you get sick of me 'cause I don't talk
enough- Ryan gets pissed 'cause I talk TOO much! Last night
he said,"Misti, you should forget about journalism and be
a stand-up comic" because I blew his cover and made him
blush. I brought him a peach from Wal-Mart as a peace
offering. He and Holly are so funny- they've got matching
cell phones that play "Take Me Out to The Ballgame" when
they ring! He does everything Holly tells him to do. He
has to, though, because she has a job and he doesn't. And
he has to make up for the way he treated her awhile back.
  On the way home I treated Chase to a poetry reading. He
drove my truck while I read my poems to him. He's too
literal to appreciate the irony and cynicism in my best
poems. He only appreciates the ones that mention masturbation
or orgasm. Typical Capricorn.
   I hope you're working on YOUR poetry, Mr. Carlin. The next
time I see you, if you haven't worked on it, I'm gonna kick
your ass.
   This attorney just walked in and asked me if I know about
the jury. I was so embarrassed earlier- he caught me glancing
through my All About Men issue of Cosmo. He said,"Miss Reporter,
is that fit reading material?" He was actually kinda flirtatious.
In an arrogant kinda way.
    I'm wearing Levis and a Hawaiian print shirt. Yesterday I
did the Lois Lane thing. Today I'm low-key.
     I always get the All About Men issue of Cosmo because
your gender just really confuses the hell outta me. I'll never
get my master's in men, that's for damn sure. I'll never be
a femme fatale. However, I did get some responses from some of
the eligibles last year. This guy named Warren Starkman was
e-mailing me there for awhile (he was a grad student at Loyola
in Chicago) and Mr. Virginia (Jaimie, a tennis pro)sent me a
card and a picture.
      Now there's this lieutenant I'm hard-core crazy for
but the jury is still out...
     B.J.'s and Deep Thoughts,
             :)Misti