By Kristi Kilhullen
Date: 18 December 1999

What It's Like

I sit and daze continuously as my heart beats through my chest like a beast

 pouncing on it’s pray.

   Loneliness is distracting when the one for you is nowhere near.

       yet I sit here in silence when really I’m screaming inside.

No one can hear me, nor know how I feel,

   But if they did, would they even care the slightest bit,

They probable couldn’t even establish a connection with the feeling.

     My heart can’t go on being tortured like this forever,

Or can it?

Does the love of my life hold me in his heart as I do him.

   Maybe it’s just his arms,

His arms that hold me so tightly when I need them to.

And if it is, why does he play with my heart and mind as if It had no sense of

 feeling or compassion.

   But still I just sit and stare with my eyes wide open like a child

 experiencing the world for the first time.

      I lay my head back in a stable position not knowing if his heart craves

 the affection I store for him.

I over lap my thoughts one by one, slowly going in depression for no apparent

 reason.

It’s not everyday that you come across the one for you,

 it’ not everyday that you lose him just like that.

Not in a sense that I’ve lost all together,

 just in a way that I’ve lost a part of him I hold so dear.

I leave myself with a final thought.

    Why does love come to be so pure and deep,

           When at the end , it leaves you with a throbbing pain that never

 seems to end.