By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 8 December 1999

BT Journal Entry IV

Friday at 6:29 p.m. I turned 22. I don't remember how I
celebrated, exactly, because a lot of shitty and 
exuberant things have happened since then and everything
is a misty blur. I just know that no presents, candles,
or beer was involved. I believe Friday night was the
night I peed in my pants just as I got inside the stall
and when I went downstairs for chow formation my platoon
was leaving so ran back upstairs, sat on the toilet, and
cried and prayed and almost had a nervous breakdown. Yes,
now it's coming back to me. I was so scared they'd chew
me out for missing formation but no one even missed me-
amazing. I could've gone to Canada and no one would be 
the wiser. There are missing persons but never missing
ghosts. I guess I'm a ghost. Boo.
   Thursday night Nixon smoked us hardcore. Made us
change our uniforms about ten times and do the formation
over and over to teach us how to be on time. Then he 
took us across the street to a muddy field and made us
do a couple of Indian runs and then we had to run around
in a big circle about a dozen times. We started clapping 
our hands and sang,"That's alright, that's okay, we can
do this stuff all damn day." Then when he finally released
us to our bays, I ran to the latrine and peed all over 
myself just as I got inside the stall. My bladder had
gone BERSERK. I'm breaking out- I sleep with toothpaste
all over my neck and face. My left arm is killing me-
it even hurts when I laugh. I can't sleep on it.
  Prior to this excitement on Thursday after 3rd chow,
Pinales and I were the last ones outta the chow hall
so Nixon made us run circles around the fucking formation
as they marched back to the barracks. I didn't mind-
I liked the attention. And Thursday morning I ran a mile
and a half with the 3rd running group- and I did not 
fall out.
   Thursday we marched to another classroom where a grumpy
sergeant who kept saying,"I could be watching O.J. on TV
if it wasn't for you fools" taught us CPR and field 
dressing treatments. My platoon is so sadly retarded.
I was cracking up- we had to do CPR on these dummies
and our platoon guide, Hollingsworth (a Mississippi man
who reminds me of a catfish), forgot to pinch his 
dummy's nose as he breathed into its mouth. No one knew
any of the answers to the easy, easy questions like,
"What is a symptom of shock?" or "What is a symptom of
burns?" When we had to apply splints to our partner's
left arm, my partner's splint was so loose it just fell
off when the sergeant touched it.I was so embarrassed.
Everyone laughed. We had to loosen our partner's belt
buckle to treat them for shock and Perrigo looked
chagrined so the sergeant goes,"What's wrong? You
scared of your partner?" Perrigo goes,"No, I'm just
not used to guys undoing my belt buckle."
  Last night my platoon had KP and wouldn't you know it- 
I got stuck with the hardest, dirtiest, ickiest job- Pots
and Pans!!! My squad leader (a red-headed Taurus from
San Diego who says he's happily married), Jackson and 
a few select others and I made a party out of our
nasty job. We changed cadences around and made 'em
sexy and sang everything from "I'll Make Love to You"
to "The End." When we were singing "The End" Farando
goes,"Hey, dude, what movie is that from?" And San Diego
goes,"It's not a movie! It's the Doors, dude."
   We worked our butts off from 3:45 a.m. to 8:45 p.m. and
Pots & Pans finished first- they usually finish last, 
but we had our shit together. DRO finished last- all
they had to do was wipe down the damn tables and salt
and pepper shakers. This morning at breakfast the guys at
my table (they were from a different platoon) and I
noticed that the silverware was filthy- this one dude
goes,"There is rice stuck between the tines and we 
haven't had rice since last night." I immediately thought
of the fools in 2nd who "worked" in that particular area
last night- trays and silverware. I almost laughed. My
platoon is so ate up it's HILARIOUS. We're the Beavis
and Butthead platoon of Charlie Company. The sergeant who
taught us first aid and CPR goes,"How many of you soldiers
were born between 1973 and 1976?" Nearly everyone raised
their hand- he goes,"That's what I thought. People did a 
lot of drugs back then- acid, LSD, marijuana. Any you 
fools are the result." I died laughing.
  I need to square away my wall locker and make myself
semi-decent for chow. I am so sick of my gray hair. 
I am so desperate for a Long Island Ice Tea. I miss
SWT. I miss WRT. I miss Jenny. I miss Omega Xi. God,
life is HARD. When can I run through the sunstream?
When will I get my spring?
    *One sweet dream
     Pick up the bags
     Get in the limosine
     Soon we'll be away from here
     Step on the gas and wipe
     That tear away
     One sweet dream
     Came true today...
       -Beatles, "Abbey Road"