By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 21 December 1999

Scene Numero Uno

Scene 1- Ext. Swimming pool at an apartment complex. Day.
It's a sweltering summer day in San Antonio, Texas. The pool is
filled with children and their parents. Karis Considine and Becca
Sheridan are lounging poolside. Becca is reading *Cosmopolitan* and
Karis is eyeing a young Hispanic guy who is dangling his feet in the
water and eating a bag of Puffed Cheetos. Music: "Santa Ria" by
Sublime. Bring up the title "Candy Before Bedtime." Lose title.

Becca: Jesus Christ. I've found God and he lives in Oregon.
Karis: Five minutes ago he lived in Nebraska.
Becca: No, no, no. That guy was a demi god. He was Mercury or
John the Baptist. This is God. This is Zeus. And miracle of
miracles, he's a Libra! God, I've always wanted to live in
Oregon!
Becca is looking through the annual "All About Men"/A Bachelor From Every State! issue of COSMO.
She circles the guy's address with a red pen. Karis rubs suntan oil
on her shoulders and then sprays water all over her body with a 
plastic spray bottle. She glances at the guy's picture and snorts
derisively.
Karis: God my ass. That guy looks like Tom Cruise.
Becca: You must be the only woman in America who doesn't admire
Tom Cruise's aesthetic attributes.
Karis: Don't get me started. Iceman was infinitely hotter than
Maverick. I'll never get it. I'll never jump on the Tom Cruise
bandwagon. Rosie O'Donnell and Nicole can have his goofy ass.
My ex thought he was a Tom Cruise clone. He was always bragging
about how everyone told him he had a smile just like Tom's. 
He had a Tom Cruise video collection. I should have ran for my
life when he told me that "All the Right Moves" was his all-time
favorite movie.
Becca: Bad American! How utterly un-patriotic.
Karis: Are you going to eat that magazine? Damn, girl.
Becca is smiling dreamily at the picture. She sighs and dog-ears
the page.
Karis: You actually think you can get something started with that
guy? You would have better odds at winning the lottery.
Becca: Last year I got a response from the bachelor who lived in
New Jersey. We never actually met but we e-mailed back and forth
for a couple of weeks.
Karis: Oooh. Sexy, sexy.
Becca: Well, it fed my fantasy life there for awhile. But this
time is different. Trad is a Libra like John Lennon and I'm
an Aquarian like Yoko Ono. We're bound to happen.
Karis adjusts her shades and yawns.
Karis: If astrology is so accurate, why didn't things work
out between me and Jordan? We're both Cancers.
Becca: I've told you at least twice. Your Libra moon
squared his Cancer sun.
Karis: Oh, that's right. Shit. We're going out tonight...maybe I'll find a man who ovals everything I've got.
Becca laughs.