By Kimbers
Date: 14 December 1999

Untitled

Should I just ask him how he feels?


hmm... i think you should just ask
                         "so what do you think so far?"


And you know what will happen
he will grin that ornery little grin of his and say, 
very innocently I might add, 
"about what?"
and that will be it 
I'll let fly with everything that's crossed my mind
every endearment I've bitten my lip to keep from uttering
I may actually get up 
and pace the room
as I often do when I'm manic
And then
what I mean to be serious
I will have to laugh about
and he may think I was kidding the entire time


Granted, but what if the question is all he needs?
Do you doubt that his feelings for you?
Do you have any evidence that proves otherwise?

I know he likes me
I know he respects me
moreover
I know I intrigue him
But I want the whole enchilada
I want to hear him say it
with his direct gaze and matter of fact way of doing things
I want to be able to fill that strange long pause
before he hangs up the phone when he's at work 
there's always this lull
this long weird silence
and I always say "Well, I'll see you when you get home"
and then he says goodnight
I never know what that pause means
I want him to TELL ME! 


You want to hear him say "I love You"


YES!

Because you love him

YES! YES! YES!
I want declaration, adoration
I want to know he loves me even if I annoy the hell out of him


Then tell him!
I think you'd be foolish to wait
What are you waiting for? 
What are you afraid of?
Do you actually NEED him to survive?
No
You need an atmosphere with 20% oxygen
you need water every third day
and you need food every 60 days
that's all you need
everything else is a want


Point taken
Then again I don't need hugs from my kids to survive 
I don't need poetry or music to keep oxygen supplied to my cells
I don't need my friends to synthesize proteins                         
But without them...what the hell is the point?


Exactly
Passion in life
Love
If these are as necessary to you as the very elements of survival
Then you have to do whatever it takes to make sure you get them
If you want it, go and get it


I will and soon
before I bite my lower lip completely off
to keep from saying what's in my heart

(laughing)  that's  a good reason, too.