By Eric, thenuttman@aol.com
Date: 28 June 2000

Dictionary: Humanitus

how can you become yourself again
after all you've said
after all you've done
become the woman i love again and pretend as if it never happened
all of it
all the lies
all the ranting and raving

you broke me
you tore me
you spilled my internal workings all over the street
my piņata for children to clean up after

and now
you stroll back
and i can't fight you
and you know it

like a dream...i've always wanted, love gone bad so i can taste it...
and then heal itself almost magically
what has become of my life?
a travesty
a tragedy
a treachery
a fish bowl

i swim
3 seconds i'm blank
i am your gold fish
i am yours to do with as you please

you tease me with your finger, lightly touching the water
i come up for air...
i forget
i come up for air...
i forget

then
you pick up my habitat
move me
jostle me
toss me
harass me
and then
settle the water
settle my nerves
you speak gently
calmly

my mind is dripping
i have words trapped inside that don't even exist
words that have meanings that are comprised solely of other meaningless words
a complete dictionary in my head
the fool's handbook
aptly titled
binded
cut and pasted
printed and published
it comes out in strange and exotic ways
stories
poems
feelings
tears
all translated, and re-translated and eventually losing the meaning
until they come out
watered down
subtle
futile
bull shit

and what does all this have to do with you
you are just another word, added to the dictionary
another impossible word
in an impossible text
that has impossible meanings

i am just a bumbling fool, but i have a treasure that you have seen
hidden, just below the surface
you are persistent and wish to retrieve that treasure
use it for your own devious purposes
smash it
delight in it
bathe in it
soak it in
breathe it in

your word is hard to describe
mainly a cross between the purest of pure loves
and the deepest of the emotions
the most thoughtful feelings
and the most captivatingly, dramatic flashes of light
the purest of hearts
and the most absurd of possibilities

an enigma...but your definition is more precise
more direct and to the point, and yet altogether more well rounded

this is why you have me
this is why i am yours
because when you wear the mask of the perfect angel...i float
and when you dawn the shadow of the angel of fire...
i reside just above the surface...curiously and lightly touching the floor
just to remain sure that it is still there

you have been approved by the commission of new and impossible words
please take your seat next to patheticism and beautiforous



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