By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 8 June 2000
Infinite Gold
eventually the looks will go
I will look in the mirror
and miss my preternaturally pretty Anime face
that startles college guys in the produce section
of a 24 hour grocery store
when the rest of the world is watching the news
or sleeping
on a vapid Wednesday night
the looks will go
and I'll say,"Might as well smoke a pack of Marlboro Milds"
because I've always liked the color blue
and menthols are better than peppermint Lifesavers
who thinks of cancer or premature wrinkles while inhaling
crystal snow?
I know looks are a goose egg
a zero...cotton candy in the rain
and so I won't complain
when I wake up one constipated dawn
and the sprinklers come on and flood the lawn and the birds
sing the same song over and over again outside my window
and I find that I have lost my saving grace
my Snow White face
my alabaster refuge from a frenzied ego glorious world
the colors will be swirled beyond recognition and
that will be enough
I'm made of strong stuff...my grandfather was half Cherokee
he smoked alone at the kitchen table deep into the night
and never spoke without affection in his voice
until I saw him the last time and all he said was,"hi"
because he was mute with pain
fate doesn't have to explain itself to me
karma owes me no favors
I've tasted all the flavors and I am full
not of myself
but of all the candy on the shelf
times like these when I am awake and alone
and the telephone is just an impertinent inanimate object
I stare at the computer screen until a poem comes
because like the girl in the story that matters most
I have gold to spin
infinite gold...
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