By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 13 June 2000
Casualty
I am a casualty of casual sex.
Don't tell me I only have myself to blame.
I've assigned enough blame to the Sacred Trinity
of Me, Myself and I to know I'll be knee deep
in homework for the rest of my life.
Yeah, I got my homework cut out for me 'cause I
played too many roles on too many playgrounds
took too many spills from too many swings and monkey bars
chased after too many ice cream trucks
and when I realized I had run out of change it was too late
'cause I was in a strange neighborhood way past
my bedtime on a school night
out of my element and reekin' of amnesia.
It is hard to sing the blues when the regret you ooze
adds to your glamor and the guys all clamor and cheer
because the tear in the beer effect turns em everywhich way
but loose.
I got juice
I got marrow
I got stains on my blue dress
Proof enough that I did more than take notes
and flower the goddamn wall.
Call me crazy
but I'm grateful for this bitterness...better now
than twenty years down the road
after a busted up marriage
because my hubby saw my true colors, finally, and decided
he needed to trade me in for a racy candy apple red model.
I can't coddle I can't simper I can't whimper like a bitch
in heat
feed you my heart and say,"Didja get enough to eat?"
let's go to the movies dutch treat, sweetheart
ooooh....here's my FAVORITE part
me swallowing a guy on the back of a Job Corps bus after he
told me that he LOVED me
so it was a lie...I guess when I was learnin' love overtime
I got stupid on too much eBuLLieNce and thought
good blow job=guaranteed love for at least one month
no, no, wait- here's a really, really KEWL scene
me at seventeen
with my first love
carpet burned and yearning
asking him if he loved me
hearing him laugh and say,"love is a harsh word, babe"
love is
a harsh
word
babe
there's an edge
a real edge
if you say it
soft
enough.
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