By Nikki
Date: 30 June 2000

A Nightmare of My Own

Sweat-soaked sheets tangle viciously about a body caught in the throes of a nightmare, so real it can only be a premonition.

A young woman, still so innocent in so many ways, sits quietly beside a bed, the room dimly lit.  Her gaze rests fondly on a face contorted in pain.   One of her hands is wrapped tightly about that of a man, while her other lightly brushes his fevered brow.  

Her eyes shine with unshed tears, while in her mind she sobs, ‘Please don’t leave me.’  She knows that she has but to utter the words aloud, and he will continue to fight.  But he is so tired, and he has already fought for so long.  To ask him to endure this further would only be selfish and cruel.  ‘I still have so much to tell you,’ she whispers.

His eyelids flutter, and she is pierced by his ice blue gaze.  She smiles softly, trying to reassure him.  She moves to rise, to get the doctor, but his hand on her thigh stills her movement.  She sees the plea in his eyes, ‘No more’.  

The tears spill over, noticed only by a presence they are not yet ready to acknowledge.  A shuddering sigh escapes from barely parted lips as she bends to press a kiss to the mouth she has come to know so well.  He has shared his visions, in his own way, and she knows how this must end.  

She whispers the words she knows he needs to hear. ‘Rest easy, my love.  You will always be my knight in a cowboy hat, and I will carry you in my heart until we are together again.’  

She recalls the words he gave to her, and knowing that she only has to call and he will be there, she bends once more to lay one last kiss upon his lips.  His hand tangles loosely in her hair, pressing her to him.

The presence they both felt advances from the shadows.  She looks up to that One known as Death, her eyes desperately pleading for him to go away, but she knows it is futile, and also that it is time.  With his last breaths he whispers ‘I love you, My babygirl.’  

As his final breath leaves his body, she rests her head on his chest, whispering, ‘I have always loved you Cowboy’.  Her body shakes with sobs that she can no longer hold in, for just a few moments.  A calm comes over her, then, as she feels a final brush of his hand on her hair.  

She knows there are calls and arrangements to make, but she merely turns her head on his chest, watching as Death fades back into the shadows, taking her love with him.  A few more moments, imagining that she can still hear his heartbeat, and then she rises.

Wiping her tear stained cheeks, she smiles softly down at her love’s lifeless body, and resting her hand lightly on his cheek, softly says ‘Sleep well my love, and meet me in my dreams.’  


NL 06/29/00

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