By smoldering
Date: 16 June 2000
Snippets of the Discussion
"Look at the cutie"
Where?
"Shakin' it over there, her little bootie
is a-wigglin"
Nice. Christ, is that all you ever do?
"What?"
What? The routine is getting a little old. Can't you take your mind off girls for a little while.
You gotta stop acting like a player. Everyone around you thinks you're a mutt.
"Well, I've spent a long time trying to convince myself, them too, otherwise, but people see what they want to anyway, so why deny them?"
Nice. Don't you see women as something more than eye candy?
"Yup. But it doesn't seem to matter to anyone anyway. There's a lot more to it than that. The right one has made me feel so strongly I daydream, cry, wish, everything. It hasn't happened often, but it has happened."
Well you sure don't show it so well. Not lately anyway.
"Well hell, no one left to convince. Once the notions are in everyone's head, changing them is too much work. Everybody thinks they know what I'm about. Nobody really knows me. Except me. And I'm not telling."
Nice. Don't you want people to know you?
"Parts. There isn't enough right to make anybody happy. Weakness is in the eye of the beholder, and there's so many eyes, peering, staring, prying, and all of them have conflicting thoughts on what's good."
So do you want to share?
"A little. Fact is, I'm in this thing for love. Regardless of whatever the hell anyone thinks. I like the feeling of nervousness that builds up while I'm waiting for her to call, and the relief, the excitement when she does. Hoping to hear the sweet words that come softly from her lips. The scent you catch in the breeze that turns your mind to her. Wanting so much to be near, around, anything closer to her than you are when the feelings come. And then, to see her, makes your heart skip a beat. Something like elation, but sweeter.
Newfound love is the bliss, and I like that feeling. When its' returned to you, so much about the world is perfect. That is a fine thing, you know."
Well, you aren't going to find it acting like that.
"Nah, it'll find me. I don't think I'm enough to chase anyone away, not if they talk to me.
Trying to be everything for everyone just gets you tired. It'll happen."
Nice.
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