By sarah.jilk@kohls.com
Date: 30 June 2000

shouldn't i be numb

the story begins in a life less lived
in a world of aches and pains
and creaking knees and joints
but of all the pain
the most remember is a heart
that is tender
and stands alone in its
subjective world
where fantasy and reality mesh
and fail to understand one another
so we live in nightmares and gaze
into one another with a languid
expression of less then understood
consequences
when our e yes can't even tell
what difference lies between a nose
and a smile when they combine at times
could you hear me if i smiled across
a room and beckoned you with my weary eyes
that is what they are right now weary
and sad i wonder if my eyes appear sad tonight
in the day when they just look tired
and my body just needs to lie down
i wonder of energy and what it feels like anymore
and of a love
i wonder of that love
i wander alone of late
seeking companionship in my shadow
for its the only thing to take with me now
i tried crying
the tears ran dry, and so did the bottle
that i once in a while solaced myself in
would you see me in that crowd
if we were lost and wandering
could you feel me calling with my
wandering heart
in the crowd
in the crowd
could you touch me from across the time
and the distance my heart has grown between
its lazy little valves
it doesn't want to pump much blood anymore
it yells at me for making it hurt
why does it hurt anymore...
shouldn't i be numb by now

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