By Michael (Sharing the love) -- share_the_love@hotmail.com
Date: 8 June 2000
ShareWare!
I think
Love is shareware
You absolutely have to give it away.
I mean who wants what they don't know
they want?
And who knows just how good
your loving is
If they've never had it?
Give them
ShareWare!
I mean, sure they could go with brand name
Why pay retail when you could pay more?
But I think that brand is mostly a ripoff.
And though lowest common denominator cardboard cookie cutout crushes sell
A la Naughty catholic schoolgirl Britney Spears
or darkly delicious and statutorily sexy Christina Aguilera
or beauty boy band babyface badboy Backstreet boys......
I think we should all go with
ShareWare!
I think love as shareware makes sense.
I mean, no woman I've ever met
Wanted my loving
until they found out that they
can't live without it
And later
paid up.
And when I got
out of style
They switched brands.
only to find themselves
shaken
at the memory of me.
Unfortunately
it's only the memory
.....
of
ShareWare!
And I'm a memory hog.
I chew up significant proccessor time.
Sometimes I make them need a reboot.
And they decide to go with another solution.
Nobody's come back yet.
But I don't mind that much
I got plenty of customers.
And I'm dressed to show off
ShareWare!
And conversely, some of my friends fret about women that after 30 days
become nagware.
I've met women that stop loving completely
when they know -- before he knows --
He's not going to pony up.
My buddies keep asking me
Where's that goddamn registry key?
I don't answer.
I only know how to break software
and make software.
I haven't been able to crack the secrets of love just yet.
All I know is it's got to be
ShareWare!
All I know about loveware
is that once you've released it
It'll be all over the world before you know it
No point to trying to keep it secret
Like trying to hide a smile on your face
No point to trying to keep it restricted to the few people who are paying too much for it
Or trying to keep some sort of encryption in your communications
Only makes interfacing with you a pain in the ass.
Screws up your lovability.
Don't be a retail recluse
Go for
ShareWare!
And the other thing about loveware
You get all sorts of weird behavior out of it
Sometimes it heats everything up
Sometimes it makes all the colors weird
Sometimes it makes your computer crazy
Sometimes it makes you absolutely lazy
Sometimes it makes everything easy
Sometimes it makes you crash
Sometimes it's just a silly game with rocketlaunchers and heart gibblets
Sometimes it's a lifelong productivity enhancer
It's wild and crazy and passionate
It's calm and cool and collected
ShareWare!
It's making me overproductive
One lady overclocked me.
I was pretty damn hyper before she met me though.
I hope I don't burn out before this chip on my heart is replaced with newer model.
I can't stop writing poetry
Though sometimes I don't know if I'm better off being computer enhanced
Wielding loveware, a keyboard, and a phat bandwidth connnection.
I think I need a pencil and Paper
Or some other means of expression
And some other pretty lady to express it to.
I'm wondering about this lady programmer...
Though right now, Paper seems like the best way to do it
Oragami.
Maybe Paper and
ShareWare!
Share your love
Share your art
share your heart
Eventually someone will decide they want a lifetime subscription.
That's the long term revenue model you know.
Software subscriptions.
Make your life all about
ShareWare!
Friendship Freeware.
Then
Love Shareware.
Then
Upgrade to the Professional Version.
Then
Lifetime subscription.
Or at least
some indefinite time until everyone gets tired of the flaws in your software or your hardware.
Though sometimes it's not out of date,
it's just that the customer and the producer
loveware business partners
both need another solution.
Sometimes one outgrows the other.
Sometimes one grows in a different direction.
Though we all want a situation where both grow at the right pace in the right place.
I don't know if breaking up a working relationship is very good though.
I mean, isn't a monopoly the entire goal?
And I mean, how do you know the price for loveware is too high?
Isn't the price right as long as the customer keeps coming back for more?
Just keep it
Shareware!
I think that true love is written in assembler
Indecipherable to anyone who didn't make it
and barely readable to those who did
Goes faster than we can comprehend
Interactive as hell
Response time is excellent
only gets better with time
prone to huge ugly problems
but the absolute best solution in terms of efficiency
and in the end
it's all written in assembler
it's all based on true love
and it's got to be Shareware
Forever.
Shareware.
Share your love
Share your art
share your heart
Eventually someone will decide they want a lifetime subscription.
That's the long term revenue model you know.
Software subscriptions.
Start it with
Shareware!
But guess where it should start out?
Freeware. Shareware. Loveware.
Don't even ask me about open source...
Makes me imagine Open Sores.
People who don't want it won't take it
People who don't understand it won't maintain it.
People who can't comprehend it can't condone it.
And in the end, the only difference that matters between Open Source and Shareware
is quality, maintainability, and usability.
I've only seen it work right when people are paying for it with something.
Though I'm pretty damn sure I could be wrong.
Though I understand eventually everyone will be let in on the secrets of love.
Right now I think it's got to be
ShareWare!
Don't get me wrong about letting others view your code.
Which is what Open Source is all about.
I can understand exposing a lot of your loving.
I mean I can be pretty damn exhibitionist as recent history shows.
And it works for some people. But not for me.
I'm not a communist, an athiest, a polygamist, or an masochist.
Not a masochist anymore.
Hopefully
Maybe not ever
again.
I need to get paid for my
ShareWare!
I'm a capitalist and a pragmatist.
It's all about the money and the honey.
And I want to get paid and laid.
I'm laughing as I write this.
Giving away my
ShareWare!
Share your love
Share your art
share your heart
Eventually someone will decide they want a lifetime subscription.
That's the long term revenue model you know.
Software subscriptions.
Start it with
Shareware!
Share_the_love@hotmail.com
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