By the guppy
Date: 23 June 2000
the goal
a quill pen needing an inkwell
an ashtray full of tears has to suffice
it's a gaudy mixture spread out on paper
little bits of toxins that no liquid paper can obscure
it has to suffice
the first thing they teach you at the institute of inkwell awareness is technique
the proper etiquette of the dip and pull out
it goes like this
dip, then pull out
and it's not at all about the same techniques taught in risky sex practices class
that stuff is way more mechanical
i suppose that has to suffice as well
sometimes i wish that i didn't have to think
or write
or feel
sometimes i indulge that wish
it's about boiling tears in an ashtray
and missing them when they evaporate
missing them and being afraid of them at the same time
hating them for the gift of inspiration
knowing that better is out there
not knowing if i am part of that better for someone else
knowing that i was at one time
efforts to escape bad feelings often result in creating more
unintentionally
there is sometimes a very fine line between wanting to be held
and wanting solitude
the goal is the same
peace
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