the worst poem ever written

By Eric, thenuttman@aol.com
Date: 17 June 2000

the worst poem ever written

snippets of Shakespeare pour out of her mouth such is the wish...but rarely does she spread disease only when she's down and dirty "wash your hands you filthy filthy girl!" an apostrophe comes but once a day only when she says "I'll be home" the rest of the time is periods and ellipses followed by heaven and ecstasy can she truly be a fraud to the eyes of all the admiring wolves? can she truly want to be with all of their kind? what is the road to happiness, i could have sworn there were no golden bricks here when I was traveling this, but, am i at happiness' level? am i anywhere near the depth or the breadth of the love that has met so many eyes and has kept so many men at bay why is what i say still rhyming...i cast out the nay sayers...the blasphemers, am I a hypocrite? are you human? why should i even care what goes on...why should I care what matters to you or your "crew" your "clan"...maybe that's your problem, you worry about them too much... what worries me is myself, I place an elipse in between thoughts and a random passer-by might consider those dots to be misplaced thoughts... do i care what they think? do i care what they pull from my writing? what if i write for me, but enjoy stirring up controversy? what if i really do care, and I do want everyone to love what i write? maybe i'm becoming jaded maybe i ramble on and on endlessly for days and days like a babbling two year old maybe where i place words, if placed, is to add to the FEELING maybe she just wanted me to go crazy or let loose, she did say i was a momma's boy but is that a bad thing, she's the one that put these thoughts in my head in the first place that bitch that bitch i hate her for changing me i could have sworn that life would have not wanted me to divert from my current setting CAPTAIN...we're heading straight for that ice berg again "but i thought the old lady dropped it in the ocean in the end" "well, baby, I went down and got it for you..." (~ B.S....coincidence of initials?) how retarded can other writers get true quality writing comes from the ones who are trying to get a response from themselves...not from a crowd of eager animals that just want to jump up and down does that mean that no meaning can come from your Brittney Spears album... oh, there is meaning, the meaning is that love that "they" sell is fabricated love that they sell is gibberish on paper that says "oops!, i did it again" i wrote a stupid song, that made everyone scream but why do i get off track when I talk about you it was like, i wrote "The Most Breathtaking Love Ever Seen" and that was as focused as it got you obviously didn't care enough about that one to even share with me your thoughts on life and politics and how evil everyone is besides you and I now even you have entered the evil realm you ditched me!! how could you!!! "oh, but i love you so much, i want to be with you forever" bull shit... "i'll leave him for you, we'll be happy, i promise" yeah, but what's your time limit on waiting for me? "6 months...after that I can't wait for you" what is this? a game to you? is this some type of retarded game, go listen to Brittney and tell me which one of you forgot about what love really is i think it's a close race PHOTO FINISH oh, i'm sorry, well, she won, but only for the mere fact that she's 18 and you're a tad older...she doesn't know what she's doing, she has an excuse you, on the other hand, grab at innocent loving hearts and make them into cold lifeless bodies that eventually are going to do the same to all the Brittney's in the world... they're naive...they're stupid, they'll fall for this charade what the hell is wrong with all you people? am i the only person in the world that thinks that not only has the word LOVE been overused, every word in the dictionary has been overused...how many times have you heard sensational...i bet if anyone held any feelings towards the word "THE" they would be appalled right now... "Hey? Have you ever heard of a spell checker?" no, i don't see one, you wanna spell check, be my guest, i'm rambling and the way they come out is the way they are spelled what does this have to do with love? why do I keep filling these pages with poems that aren't poems? poems that speak of such things as pop culture, fabricated love and B.S.? i don't have an answer, you've done this to me!, not you personally but YOU PERSONALLY!!..."you're jaded, you're messed up in the head" that's what i heard the other day, but i think that it all comes back to me when i say, so what, i don't care, i'm writing the words i feel in my head, they've been eating at my brain for almost 21 damn years and if i dont get them out now, i swear even at your precious computer, 3000 miles away, you may just hear a pop...a splat....a news flash "Insane poet THENUTTMAN exploded today...scientists say that he thinks too much" is that actually possible? i mean, seriously, internal combustion? i've already done both, internally i'm dead inside right now because of her because of you if you are female, i am jaded from you from your species if you are male, i am jaded from you from your torture "fight back, don't get made fun of, don't get walked on by women" so, what is this now? "don't hurt women but don't let women hurt you" how am I supposed to fight back? never talk to any of them? i talk, i act kind, I act sweet, I dot my I's, I cross my T's I DON'T USE ELLIPSES i get the same reaction across the board... "You are too good for me" so what, do you want me to be an asshole, i know plenty of those, i'm sure i could fix you up with them the ones that only want sex the ones that only want you for a quickie...A BLOWJOB Lust VS Love, my ass, we know which one it is we all know men are after the first and women after the latter but when women actually find the latter they run because they remembered what it was like to be lusted after, not wined and dined if anyone has made it this far through this, please Stand up, please stand up EVEN THAT HAS GOT CAUGHT IN MY HEAD?!?!?! interrobang and all why eliminate that from the dictionary? interrobang, it even sounds cool and it lets you scream a question WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??!?!?! "who knows, you've probably drank in too much caffeine with all those fake anti-depressant St Johns Wort pills that make you think you're better when actually it's just a sugar pill that tastes like shit" yeah, i know, i know, i'm insane so what, i'm insane am I really that bad off maybe if i lock myself in this room and read to myself the words of Thoreau I'll become more sane...or is that not the way it works who knows, not you, not me... I BET SHE KNOWS of course that would be my luck she would have the key to make me happy, to make me not crazy and she would leave me high and dry well I'm going to have to leave now with a final note that i didn't write it is the last bit of words left over in my brain besides the few i have to keep to survive imagine looking at a funnel, and the very last piece of filtered whatever is spinning around and beginning to fall through...it finally falls and you're left with just the sight of that last drop of water, that last grain of sand, that last word oh no, i seem to have forgotten that word that sentence, or was it a phrase let's play jeopardy, you ask me an answer and i'll answer with a question yeah, that's a fun game, maybe then I'll say Ditto, and then you'll say I love you....no, forget that, that may resemble the movie Ghost with Patrick Swayze and Whoopi...and that chick that got naked ...Demi..or De-mi... I think i qualify for guest ramblings...i ramble better than i think or is it that I ramble...and i don't think does this even qualify as poetry? to quote an episode of Saved By The Bell "What is art? Are we art? IS ART ART?" so...what am I? am I I? IS I I? ok, that made no sense, "SHUT UP YOU!!!!!" "listen to yourself and you call yourself a poet, quoting episodes of some children's show...some image of what children want life to be like? have you lost your mind" didn't i already answer that? here's my answer, Mr Trebek....or should I say Alex....for my Daily Double I'll wager my life "and the answer is..........This man failed to see beyond his own life...he failed to see the forest for the trees...he failed to see the dirt under his own finger nails and yet made fun of those who he saw who were under that same dirty finger child-like spell...this man is a spoof on life...his life resembles nothing before and nothing after...his life is like a box of chocolates...that only has that disgusting coconut shit in it....and his name isn't forrest...perhaps it could be forrest, if he'd change it legally...or illegally, who cares, that's not the point, the question is still the same...this man saw things in his life that people should see at the ages that he saw them....he knew things he shouldn't know at the ages that he knew them...he realized things when he was young that should have been saved for old age...because only then are you able to see them for real...he just had a jump on things...this man had a good life....a great life according to some measures...but yet, somehow he sees it as not that way....possibly a miscommunication of his synapse....maybe his mind went blank about the opposite sex for a while...maybe he doesn't learn from his mistakes, no matter, he still may be insane.... you have 30 seconds" do do dodo, do do do, do do dodo, DO, dodododo, do do dodo, do do do... do, dodo do, do ...do....do...du dum "all our contestant seems to have his answer in...let's see, he already said he wagered his life....and the answer you put is...." *SILENCE* "you left it blank???? YOU AMAZE ME SOMETIMES YOU KNOW THAT????!!!!!" "LOOK AT ME, I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO LOSE MY COOL, I'M THE LONGEST RUNNING GAME SHOW HOST ON TELEVISION...AND YOU ARE JUST SOME IDIOTIC POET WHO KEEPS ME IN YOUR DELUSIONS FOR WAY TOO LONG, SOMEONE HELP ME! GET ME OUT OF THIS FREAK'S BRAIN" ....*cough, cough*...."accommodations have been provided by Eric's brain" I'm sorry for this I'm sorry for my writing I'm sorry for my style I'm sorry for how long this is I'm sorry to all of those of you who thought "I know how he is" and didn't I'm sorry that I'm more crazy than I was before but in reality, blame her do you want her email address?...just ask, you can send her hate mail or fan mail depending on your reaction no.wait.i.cant.do.that.to.her THINK THINK THINK, what do I say to recover from this THANK YOU! THANK YOU VERY MUCH! The king has left the... no, i just thought of how i can finalize my rampant diseased mind...i know what i can say that can make it all ok...it's a little poem my mother sang to me as a child...i think it took a toll on me... "Horse, flea, three blind mice" "Out in the barnyard shootin' dice" "Horse, slipped, fell on the flea" "'Oops!,' said the flea, 'there's a horse on me!'" "Boom, boom, ain't it great to be crazy?" "Boom, boom, ain't it great to be crazy?" should i press "SEND IT" ? should I? will they laugh? will they cry? will they make fun and wish I would die? will they ban me from writing or spit in my eye? will i become famous or write any more without becoming sick? or...if i title this 'the worst poem ever written'...will anyone double click?

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