By Yossarian
Date: 26 May 2000

To Evangline - 6 days

I don't know what you want.
I don't know what you need.
Call me your ghost if you wish.

If you need someone to talk to.
You have my number.
If you need a real hug.
I can afford a plane ticket.
If you need a big love.
You already have it.
If you need something unconditional.
I thought you knew.

If you need answers.
I don't understand the question.
If you need solace.
I got some right here.

But I don't want to make any big promises
promises are so hard to keep.
Especially when you make them to yourself.

There was a time
when I would have given you everything I had
given up everything
everything including me

now I am a little wiser
and I know the one thing you can never give up for anyone
Not for anyone darlin
Is yourself

I think I could give up anything I had
but myself
But it would kill me to fail
with you
again
And I don't want to die
though I am not afraid to live
not anymore

And they say that if you love something
let it go
and if it comes back to you
it's yours forever

and like that song
I never let you go
at least not on this end
and on the other end
I don't know because you never told me

so to me at least you're not coming back
because as far as I'm concerned you never left
and you can call me a son-of-a-bitch for leaving you alone like that
when you still loved me
and I still loved you
Get that shotgun and drive over here with both barrels baby
Love me two times

and I don't think we're good together
and I don't know if we're good for each other
and I don't know really anything.

But if you need to visit me
To say goodbye
or say hi
Bring Katalina along
to make it safe
I'll rent you both rooms
or you can both have my bedroom
I have a couch
she can be a better friend to you
than I can darlin
because she didn't want to sleep with you
and I don't think she's been chaste for 6 years
in 6 days.

Because if you need the rest of your life
I don't know if I can pony up
I don't know if I can take that knife out of your gut
I don't know if I can do anything
but wish you
as you wish.

And I am not the man in black
I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts
Though I used to play melee
I am not a swordmaster
And though I am not left handed
I'm not whipping out my seriously good poetry
to hurt you as much as I could
I don't want to save a helpless princess
I believe the helpless princess can get off her ass
and save herself

And good breasts are rare nowadays
Put the fucking knife down
I hope he's not as bad as Prince Humperdink.
Why does the princess always look like Robin Wright?
At least -- in the right light

I don't think it's supposed to be this complicated.
And I don't want to go crazy again.
Darlin I am your algebra
and you are my partial differential equation
my traveling salesman problem
np complete
unsolvable in polynomial time -- O(n^2^2)

And if you want me to talk to him
tell him to love you right
and everything I know of how to do it
I don't know as much as you darlin.
But I can put a little heat behind it
so tell me to tell him.
If that's what you're askin

Dammit I need to get to work.
I'm bigger baby.
I'm makin more friends.
And with them I don't have to pretend
that I know what the hell I'm doing
Back to the Heart-on-Sleeve Corner