By Paul B
Date: 26 May 2000

Handyman

Howdy ma'am.  I'm a handyman.
I'll do whatever is needed, or whatever I can.

I knocked on your door, 'cause I couldn't help noticing.
Your bush looked neglected.  Mind if I do some exploring?

I love my work and we can dicker if you'd like
But it's all guaranteed, so don't worry about price

Your assistance is essential, and forgive me for flirting
But you may want to remove that, we're gonna get sweaty and dirty

Put the hose in the hole, get it all nice and wet
But stay with me, ma'am, we are nowhere done yet

Spread your legs for some leverage, then grab hold of the limbs
Move your bush back and forth, get as deep as we can

Your bush will survive, if you can avoid the heat
If not, call me back, ask for a performance repeat

With that I'll be gone, it was a pleasure to mend
You say your back door is loose?  Would you like a couple of screws put in?

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