By Nikki
Date: 10 May 2000

Need

The skies opened
this morning, the
rains falling off
and on all day.
The sun managed to
peek out in between,
whether to taunt me
or merely to remind
me that it's existence
had not faded, I don't know.

Flashes of color
invade my mind.
Somber blacks and
deep blues, a picture 
of my heavy heart.
Violent reds bring
to life an anger I
didn't know was there.
Purples and oranges combine
to make an unattractive
confusion, leaving me to
wonder where the calm
shades of the spectrum are hiding.

Once I stood straight,
confident in who I was.
Now I'm a smudge of chalk
left on a board long forgotten.
What is to become of me?

You made me feel alive.
Now, in your self-imposed
absence, I wish only for 
the torrent of
   confusion,
   delusion,
   doubts
and fear of the man in my closet
to disappear.

When did your presence become so needed?

5/10 nl