By Christine
Date: 17 May 2000

Thoughts of you ago

Thoughts of you again
I sit in class
Wait for the time to pass
In the hour glass
till the time for me
for me to leave
My second hell isn't far from me

I arrive at home
i enter the door
hold me breath and hope my parents aren't here
i drop my books
remove my shoes
and find a corner
to help heal these bruses

I sit and stair at a pile of clothes
"i should pick those up before they get home"
I hang them
fold them
shove some into a drawer
and throw the rest in a durty clothes hamper

I flop on my bed and can't help but say:

the world around me is so fucking confused
i can't help feel that my hearts getting used
I look at your picture in the clear plastic frame
listen to my self as i slowly whisper your name
things before you seemed so unclear
i'd cry these tears as i lye here in fear
longing for those arms to hold me tight
hoping someday things will somehow be alright

in the midths of my world you make things seem right
think of you hoping it me your thinking of tonight
knowing those words you once said to me
meant something and had meaning
cuz they came from you to me

I pray at night with the tears dripping down
that i could exscape this world before i drown
i wish more than anything
i could be with only you
because i know already
that our love is so true
and meant to be
the options left
are very slim
but if we were together
you'd help me swim

rescue me already
please take me away
i feel so close to the edge
that i should end this pain today
i hate my world
and almost everyone in it
but if you were my saving angel
you could say you helped me through it

as im reading your letter
in my trembling hand
i over look them
just because i can
longing for your voice
to solve my pain
my endless nightmare can easily be taken away
you making notice your thoughts
of being with me someday

I can't stop thinking of this messed up life
one day we'll live perfactly
with me as your wife
we'll do all our things the right way
i wipe the tear thats absorbed be my shirt
we'll be great parents
and never treat them bad
or ever make them hurt

but until that day
i guess i'll have to suffer
try to go on even though your not here
be just thinking of you
makes things half right
your such a good distraction Dan
a good one tonight

                    -Christine(16)
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