By Nikki
Date: 11 May 2000

I Want...

You ask me what I want, 
and I feel the pause weighing 
me down like a lead blanket
as you wait for the assurance that
all I want is you.

I wish I could say what
you need to hear, 
to take away any doubts
you may have,
but in the harsh light of Reality, 
     I can’t.

I want so much more
than just you.

I want to be secure
in the knowledge of 
your love.  Will there never be another,
three months, 50 years, a millenium
down the road that 
will be able to catch your
eye so much quicker
than I ever could?

I want to go to the 
corner store, and
buy a pack of smokes
without scrounging
for change in the couch cushions.
Can’t you just leave the change on the counter?

I want you to erase every doubt
I ever had, and every jealousy
I ever will. 
Can you make me less neurotic?

I want you to love me 
because of, not in spite of,
the thousands of little 
quirks that no one else can stand.
Are you a better man than they?

Compared to all that
you have shown me,
my wants seem petty
and childish.
Are they really?

In the middle of the night
when the day keeps me awake
all I really want is your
     Understanding.
			5/11 nl