I am a traitor to my sex...a double agent...and they will hunt me down with pitchforks---not because they actually enjoy that mystery stuff---but because we really hate having to ask for what we want or need. I don't want you to guess---I want you to know---exactly what I like. I want you to notice my taste, and understand why the same thing can annoy one day, and thrill me the next. Yes, I want you to read my mind---my moods...we drop clues like raindrops. Another woman could interpret the signs in a heartbeat.

To be fair, there are things we expect. I don't expect to have to ask for a kiss. "Gee honey---didn't I kiss you last week?" spoken or not is never the right answer. You can tell the world that I am a marvel---that you are amazed that I am in your life---and it counts for exactly zero if you fail to mention it to me. Having vented a little---allow me to get to the skinny...women are not perfect. Women in love are confounding, contradictory creatures. I am overwhelmed by love---and never feel quite deserving of it...that is why I feel the need for reinforcement from you, oh object of my undying affection.

I love attention---even if I handle it badly...and when I say you don't have to do something, do it again! It may mean that I love it...but for some reason feel funny asking for it. If I tell you not to do something, that means I hate it. If you do it again, it means that you could give a flying...

Women are told from infancy that stuff is more important than people. "Smart" girls look for security...or so we are taught. And yes---there are women like that. But they're pretty up front, and usually know what they're looking for. Most won't lead you on, then say "Gee---you're not rich!" Hint: If a lady says, "I only date doctors" take a clue guys. She already has decided what she wants, and love may have little to do with it.

Some of us are predatory...no argument...Some are fickle. I've heard it said that women marry men expecting them to change---and men marry women expecting that they never will change. No wonder the war of the sexes has gone on for Millennia! We're all unique---cut differently from the first...men and women. Women try hard not to screw up---not to ask too much---we try to be smart, and say things like "it's okay---you don't have to love me..." when we would give half our soul and a kidney to be loved.

It isn't so much that we confuse sex and love---it's more like it's the only way to establish intimacy...or so we think We envy men their ability to "keep it light". In my own life, I noted that the men who most desired "casual" never respected the lady for supplying it. "Light" meant you never were supposed to love them---and never was supposed to say so if you did. You got savaged for that sort of verbiage---"Are you trying to trap me?" Door slam...I gave up pretending that my heart and body lived in separate places. I was not the tin wood woman of Oz. You either wanted the package---or not. Pieces not sold separately.

Guys---there really isn't a decoder ring. No magic incantations that will make you instantly understand us. There's only you, and her. Listen with your heart as much as you do with your ears---maybe more. My sisters and I are capable of great fubars---I will not deny it. We agree to stuff intellectually---and then our hearts make us bail...not because we wanted to mess with your head, or your heart---but because we really believed we could accept something other than what we wanted.

We are impossible. We speak different languages...think differently---but we yearn for each other. And when it works, it is a truly beautiful thing. I have one heart wish that I hug to myself. One day, I want to be half of one of those sweet old couples who hold hands, who glance at each other fondly, and who remind us that yes, it can be done.

In the words of our New Zealand Queen...take care of your hearts...