By Megs
Date: 16 February 2000

Sentimental Block

     What does she want to say when she puts the pen to the paper?
Cause the conversation in her heart is so contradictory it interrupts her
attempts to write.  If she was happy and sure of the whole love thing would it
be this hard?  And doesn't that answer her question then...obviously she isn't
happy.  
     Happiness, she expects,would be simpler and cut and dry and let's start
picking out names for the kids cause baby this is a sure thing.  Happiness
would be him bringing home the take out she didn't even know she was craving. 
Or buying each other the same corny Valentine card.  
     But is she in love with him? When they can't even talk about the same
books? 
When he still seems so young (even though he is older)and he can't name a
single song Bob Dylan sang?  And he makes a face at her suggestion they just
drive and see where the road takes them cause honey he has a bet on the 
basketball game tonight.  Then he laughs at her and pats her on the head like
she is a silly cocker spaniel nipping at his heels.  
     He read a little of her notebook once.  None of the current stuff, none of the gaping wounds left in open air.  Older writing a year or so old so the heart
aches sealed and it only really ached in bad weather. Not her best work, but it
explained a lot about her.
     He didn't get it (of course) and asked her to explain what she meant and
she had hoped all awhile that he would KNOW what she meant before he even read
the story.  She had hoped he would know and take her in his arms and say how he
has felt that way too and looked his whole life for someone who understood that
feeling.  
     And then she would know it was love.  Really love.