By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 12 February 2000

Kiss the Girl for Tryin'

it is Friday night
and he hasn't called
last night he called
   and told me
he couldn't stop staring
   at my picture
last night he fell 
   asleep on the phone
but that was
Thursday night
this is Friday night
and I am contemplating suicide
and fried food
and a shot of junk in my arm
and pills washed down with vodka
(these dark contemplations are mere luxuries)
(warped mind games)
(that I cannot afford)
...so I dye my hair
        clean my apartment
        stare at the walls
        allow the tears
            to fall
and I write bad poetry
and glance at the clock
and glare at the phone

i try to be proactive
tomorrow will be Saturday
tomorrow i will remove
all five of my personal ads
from cyberspace
tomorrow i will wash my sheets and panties
and live my small life
in a big way
with a soundtrack
and candy
and quarters
in my pockets