By Amy  A. BrnEydMzo@aol.com
Date: 11 February 2000

Trying Too Hard

Even though you look at me in that way that makes me crazy
(go ahead, challenge me...)
I keep wondering if someday
I'll be able to give you that same kind of look
(And really mean it)

But you keep making promises with your eyes
That your lips and hands and heart can't keep
And I keep believing
Thinking that no one could really be this cruel
(It MUST be me)
No one would play games like this
(surely you have a heart)
Cutting my heart time and time again
On the glaring shards of my shattered expectations
Perhaps one day
It will be YOUR blood that spills as you encounter your own deceit
Hiding in the lush grass of your pompous self-sufficiency

But your ego
(like the Parthenon, crumbling, crumbling...)
Stops you from saying the few things that I need to hear most
(I need you, I love you, I miss you when you're not around)
And I keep pretending not to care or notice your latency
(he'll come around...)

I think I'll learn in time
That warm kisses are not substitutes 
for trust
Roaming hands in dark rooms won't ever find the corner of my heart
That you so willingly overlook
(go ahead, REACH me....)

Life is not a dress rehearsal
You are not as wonderful as you seem to think you are
I am worth more than you've ever taken the time to see
And it's time to just stop trying
And start walking away
(don't look back...just keep moving....)