By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 6 April 2000
Such Beautiful Hair!
It's always been this way. I look in the mirror and I see the same sad blue-gray eyes and the same full face. I still have too much hair. And it's black. With red highlights. Of course when I was a little girl it was glossy black...so black it was almost blue. The red highlights came with menstruation, oddly enough. One more gift from the Goddess of Estrogen. Girl gifts. Yay.
I don't talk much. The hairdresser, a bubbly gal named Keela, asks me questions. How Was Your Last Internet Dating Experience? Do You Go to Deep Ellum Often? What Kind of Music Do You Like? Have You Found a New Job Yet? And she tells me at least ten times that I have A Lot of Hair. God, Girl. You Have Sooo Much Hair. Must Take You Three Hours To Blow Dry It. I'm Gonna Have To Texturize the Heck Outta It. Has It Always Been This Way?
It has Always Been This Way. I was Born This Way. Too much hair and too many feelings.
People have always made much over my looks. Oh, yes. I won all the Beautiful Baby Contests and Beauty Pageants. Still have the pictures and the trophies. Still remember being four years old and being asked by strange old men if I had a Boyfriend and Where I Got My Pretty Blue Eyes.
A bitch named Shawna asking me on the playground in sixth grade if I Thought I Was Born Beautiful. All My Friends Hating Me because the Older Guys Wanted Me. I was Skinny and Pretty, Even With My Braces. Bitch.
My family telling me It Was ALL Gonna Catch Up With Me. You Keep Eating Like That...Just Wait...Someday You'll Get Fat. Then No One Will Make Much Over You Anymore.
When Your Beauty is Gone Gone You'll Have to Be More Than What You Are Now. You'll Have to Burst Outta Your Shell Singin' Zippity Doo Dah So That You Can Win Miss Congeniality or Most Personality. SO THERE, you Pretty Temporal Wisp of Snow White Incarnate.
Everyone's wish has come true. They will dance on my bones when I'm dead and say See! I Told You! It Got Her Nowhere, Her Empty Beauty!
She Was Never Loved...
(I hate getting haircuts)
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