By the guppy
Date: 18 April 2000
inert workings
i can't help it
i just don't believe in all the happiness the merry-go-round brings
some of it is fine
and at other times the screechin' halt leaves you with chipped teeth and a bloody mouth and a urge to board a train heading south fast as you can
sometimes you try faster than you can and end up waiting around, checking your watch several thousand times and forgetting the point of it all
it's not that i don't believe in love
i just don't believe that throwing yourself into an emotional hurricane is always a good thing
yeah, you get your kicks
either end up really high or really low and most likely eventually diagnosed by a professional certified to deal with the effects hurricane people subject themselves to
sometimes i don't know for sure whether i love falling in love, or hate falling in love
i guess my cynical side kinda hates it
just the vulnerability of it
how i can fool myself into thinking that i'm not a fool is just ridiculous
i know for damn sure that at any given moment some sweet girl could do some silly sweet girl thing and my little dumbass heart would get that poundy poundy feeling
that feeling that says "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm pretty", or "mmmmmmmmmmmmm funny", or just plain old "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"
that undefined one is the worst...
that one happens when too many good things are interpreted by me at once
and i think i'm actually developing a phobia about meeting the "perfect" girl and not being able to say anything but "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"
i've actually had a couple of long term relationships in which the only thing i remember saying was "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"
one of the girls said that i talked too much
at least it was from the heart i guess
she fell for a guy that's all about apostrophes and exclamation points
my worst enemy happens to be the apostrophe
the possessive
i'm all about commas and ellipses...
exclamation points are neutral
take your time...and realize that there is always more...to come
my hopeful dreamful delightful side wants so much to be dancing daily with a girl who's delighted by the complex simplicity of my "mmmmmmmmmmm"'s
isn't that what every guy wants?
"in love with a friend...you can fall in the arms of each other...and nothing is like that, brother"---Jude
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