By Misti Velvet Rainwater
Date: 17 April 2000
Super Cells & a Mountain Dew High
and now for a tragicomic tale of love Love LOVE
and I don't mean Lust lust LUST
or like LIKE Like
or maybe Maybe MAYBE
but LOVE! Yes, LOVE!
found like a quarter on the sidewalk on your way
to the arcade
or lemonade stand
a treasure for your itchy hand that wants to experience
an even exchange
FOR ONCE
and your libido is out to lunch
but calls in from time to time on a cell phone
but this is not about instant gratification, this poem
this is not a horny poem
or a trisexual poem
or a Buy One for the Price of Two at an Adult Bookshop Near You poem
so what kind of poem IS IT, damn it?!!
ah, like me
you are getting impatient
and belligerent
calm down
focus
a poem like this one
takes time, sweet cherub
sit on the porch swing
and look to the west
see the dust?
see the low black green clouds
accessorized with lickety split lightnin' bolts?
hear the roarin'
like a locomotive?
that is where this poem begins...
didn't predict it
not I
I'm not a meteorologist
or an old timer
the mad clanging windchimes
didn't alert me
because I was soaking in a tub of freesia scented bubbles
with the lights off
smoking a Cuban cigar
left over from Labor Day
my toes and elbows and beer belly were squeaky clean
and sweetly scented and I was HAPPY, I tell ya!
I was Goldilocks personified
er, except for the gold ringlets
everything was JUST RIGHT!
then there he was
this strange man
on my doorstep
who, you ask?
well, he wasn't the Purple Pieman, that's for damn sure!
if he were the Purple Pieman
I would know to send him on his way
with no delay
but he was CUTE, I say!
so I said heeeeeyyyyyy!
whadda ya want?
and here's the thing:
he wanted me to stroll with him through Tornado Alley
on this black green smack dab in the middle of April day
when were you born? I asked him
he told me and I said
GOOD
that sounds right
let's go!
so we went
and he assured me
the F5 monster tornado dancing along the horizon
wouldn't mess up my hair
I don't care, I said
I'm having a bad hair year...a little wind won't hurt
might actually do some good!
oh, that was brave of me
and this is where it gets DANGEROUS
and scary and very cautionary tale-ish
without warning
the tornado asked me to dance
and before I had a chance to say NO!
Helllll no!!!
it picked me up
and carried me to a snake pit
and threw me in
and now
I am shook up and snakebit
and seeing strange visions
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