Where Do I Go From Here?

By Eric, thenuttman@aol.com
Date: 18 April 2000

Where Do I Go From Here?

I just don't know how to take all of this... A bitter day...lifted away...when I talk to you... Memories running by at the speed of light... Events that tremble in the wake of new evidence of life... Meaningful conversation and even some that's not... But more important is the fact that my mind is not focused on the bad... You have the uncanny ability to change the melancholy to jubilation... Change darkness to light...the wrong becomes right... How do I take all of this in? New information and feelings all inflicted at once... My plastic bag mind is stuffed full of fear... The only thing I ask of you is where to go from here? I'm lost in a sea of blasphemy...unbridled feelings colliding with a wall of pride... Caught myself in between you and hard place to deal with... How should I know the answers to the questions that no one else can even ask? What do I do if I look around through all the faces and never see one like you? How often do I find myself in this situation exactly? It's difficult enough to see someone's hardship...but you help me deal with mine... I've always been a listener...never a listenee... Because of this, behind my eyes is a tortured field of caged emotion yearning freedom... If I plead my case now...will it destroy all that I wanted to spend time building? Will it crush the surface of an iced over river of passion so that I fall through and get swept away? How will I ever know if I let it go?....I just don't know anymore.... How should you take all of this in? Fresh information and emotions just came directly into your path... I'll look up and everything will change in here... So there's just one questions left....where do I go from here?

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