By deevaa (deevaa@paradise.net.nz)
Date: 4 October 2000
To whom it may concern
To whom it may concern -
I know he's lost faith
because I've watched him,
watched him for hours, and waited.
Waited for him to notice me.
I was there when he flew to Seattle --
I saw his excitement, and clapped and cheered
and blew good luck kisses, as he walked out the door
and onto a plane, and into her arms.
And I talked with him about the flowers
and the lake, and crazy girls who said they loved him
as they climbed into the pick-up of a so-called friend.
And I've cried with him
and laughed with him
and shared erotic thoughts with him
I've read his poetry and danced with him
on a beach, in his sliver of heaven.
I've giggled as he got his toe stuck in a bottle
and I've waited breathless
for him to
*"pounce...
with all the passion of the moment."
... only there never has been a moment
for us.
and I know there won't be.
not now,
not after all of this
we've passed through those one way doors
and into the great hall
of 'just great friendship'
but --
You know I'd have jumped in puddles outside his house
for hours in the pouring rain
if only I thought he'd notice me.
You know,
I never wanted to fix him,
and I never wanted to iron out
his wrinkles --
and, I've sincere hopes
that you'll never try and change him
and that you'll gather all his quirks
and bundle them into a ball
and keep them tight to your chest
shape them into a lumpy pillow
to slumber
to dream
to dream the dreams of the loved.
and you will be loved
cherished...
adored...
maybe not in the conventional
diamond ring
and bouquets of red roses way --
but you'll have something better than that
original pebble-on-a-pull tab adornments,
and
floral works of art -- handraised
and still living, in a pot for your deck,
and songs sung with tenderness,
and guitars played with longing,
you'll have beaches by day
and poetry by night
you'll have fireflies
writing your name in the sky
and for that
I'm jealous.
but for you
I'm grateful
Because someday someway
he's going to find you
and **"some day
some way
what will be
will be."
and so,
Girl of his Dreams
Good luck
god speed --
he's waiting
for you.
__________________________
* taken from 'Sliver of Heaven' by the guppy
and
** taken from 'Some Day, Some Way' lyrics by Jeff Healy.
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