By pix
Date: 30 October 2000

my eyes are full

He is over by the table. Listening to her,
that freshmen
who is so lucky as to be by his side
He is shinning, all that glows in my sight,
i have to talk to him, so i'll make my way over.
god, my date is right behind me,
ok.
"hey", i call to him.
wishing i could rap my entire body around him, i embrace him with my one free arm
i miss those huggs, sadley, this time it was different
"who are you here with", i ask
"my little sister's friend", he says
that's good, he wanted me to know she means nothing to him
oh my eyes are so full
his image is so great and comfortable
i imagine our kisses, and i am relaxed
i want to tell him to come find me later
to come and dance with me and i would never let him go again
leave your date, i would leave mine, for you
but my lips do me no justice
my date pulls my arm,
"bye" i say, looking into those eyes, for the last time i imagine
"bye" how sad that word is, it means for the end

i stare for him, trying to lure him with my eyes
but he is distracted
a slow dance, i rest my head on my date's shoulder
if only it were his,
i look for him, there he is,
relaxing, he is close to me
i wish we were together, and as the song would end, we would kiss
so pashionatly
but the song ends
and there is no kiss
just my desire, and his ignorance of it.

* * *

so i have to wait a month
till you are free again
and i'll have to pretend you are my friend
when i wish it was more

i've herd about you lately
you're doing well
and you are single, always good to hear
so busy, you have no time right now,
but you will, and then you wish to see me,
and you wanted me to know,
you were never mad at me,
eventhough i know you were
i saw that
and you want to know how i'm doing
you were told i'm well
you were told i am desired
but i hold out for you
or so you would think
and you'd be right
every night i think of you
no that is not all true
every night, day, evening, morning i think of you
and i know when you will be free again
i've marked it clearly so as not to forget
amd then we will get together as friends
and i will push for more
but so only you faintly know
and not the world
that was my mistake last time
too much desire
you saw too much of my heart
and so you took too much
and never returned it to me
no, this time we will talk, and really meet each other
and not with just the touch of our lips
but with ourselves

this is a long poem
and it means nothing to that who reads it
it is simply a rambling in my head
but if i do not write it down to make sence of it
i'm sure i would go mad

i miss you
and i will think of you untill you think of me
however long that takes
i hope it is soon
because you make me ache
you make me want
you.
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