By Pixiesea@hotmail.com
Date: 9 October 2000

Reasons

Reasons 10/9/00 5:00pm


I could list the reasons why I think about you
But it would break my heart
and I’m sure I’d start crying
yet it wouldn’t change anything.

You’d still be away from me
And I’d be alone with my regret
Thinking of why you are so perfect
Even though they say I’m too good for you.

Every now and then I remember something about you
And I think of why everything stopped
And how it was my fault
Even though I couldn’t control you

Because you were my first
My first everything and I don’t regret that
But I miss it
Because now you’re only in my memories.

And every time I dream you are holding my hand,
it is still empty
and every time I wish to feel your hug
I am cold

I think about you endlessly
You are on my every thought
And maybe you think about me too
But probably not, no I don’t think you would

Because you’re so busy
And I am left with only time to waist
Because nothing seems as real without you
Just time that passed after there was you

So how do I continue
Without you to hold me
without your soft kisses on my neck
and your smile and laugh

They all say I’m too good for you
But I feel like I would take that chance
If it was mine to take
And I would do everything right this time

But I have to settle for friends at best
And I know that isn’t enough for me
Because behind every next crush
You’re memory will be so bright

When I saw you my heart pounded
And when I hugged you I melted
And then I looked for you when I could
and panicked when I couldn’t

I miss you so much
and I have to hold it in
and it kills me
But that is my reality

So, maybe I can’t list the reasons
Because there are too many
and words would do no justice
to the memory of our first kiss.
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