By it dosent matter
Date: 20 October 2000
A story? Of love?
Music? For a waltz ? "{Flash of car, high rate of speed"} Where is this place? "{Memory of a turn}" A beautiful hall and its nig "{night time, darkness, tires failed to bite}" ht or at least very dark out ?In? But that haunting music calling me. Walking on soft carpet ,wondering? "{The horror of the sound of tires shredding}" Large ornate doors block my way as i sought the source of this Music? Reaching for the handles i noticed my dress, soft and comfortable dated 1800 or even older. Maybe much older. Shirt of ancient frilled design. Pantaloons, i believe, for pants and soft boots well made, far too well made, for a perfect fit. "{darkness ,lights pain,sudden, movements, spinning , slammed stop ,out???}" I staggered needing the wall for support as this last crashed through my mind. I
was not yet ready to question. Mentally checking my physical state, i really felt fine ,ok, well even , all but my mind. It was like i just stepped through a cloud. I was still not ready to question, not yet. I tried the door, found it heavy but unlocked. Smoothly "{grinding?}" it opened into a well lit "{dark}?"cavernous hall with it seemed hundreds "{empty ,dank}?" of people slowly milling about all in my manner of dress, with the women in those over large sweeping skirt type dresses. jeweled and be jeweled. Very high class crowed it seemed. then i forgot them "{empty???}" for She was there out in the middle with her back to me. She knew i was there. Again I did not question ,but this was a known. She awaited me. I crossed the distance. Slow ? Fast ? Didn't matter cause i was with her, for she had called . then i stopped ,my hand poised to touch her creamy willing shoulder, and turned away. I would not face her in this manner.
Yes this was Hers. Of this i did not doubt. Her powers awesome, if what all i suspected true. Yet i would not face her as a lesser, as all the rest i saw "{empty?}" I turned and walked, she would come to me or not at all. As i took my second step away, music, clarions and angels all in Her voice "{dust?}?" sang out one soft word ,"wait,". Frozen in place, i did, though i found hate for my self in this. Then She was before me. How long i stood and stared i cannot say but was never long enough. This i felt, yet of emotions to be seen ,in and of her perfection, these i could not find. There She stood to let me drink with sure knowledge i would still die from my thirst. Again i hated this but was helpless in Her perfection. Slowly I regained my self, though the fight to grovel horrific, When against all thought, i offered her my arm in dance. I at once saw a look of startlement ,a " fierce" small smile, then emotionless again. She reached to take mine for the beginning of the measure. Time suddenly slowed, Her movement grace, lasting hours, so entranced was i at the flight of her delicate hand. Then it was there. On my arm as weightless as a sparrow, electricity seemed to flow with the touch of flesh "{ blinding ! shocking ! twisting ! horrific! p.a,i,n !!}? halting us in step, did her eyes just soften? She smiled again, some how more true this time as we stepped out for the dance never before had i waltzed this way, never having waltzed before, with a partner more true in step. She seemed a part of me and i of her as we turned in perfect stride. Around and around and around we
spun locked in this perfection of gait, The floor once crowded {empty?} now all jus faded away. Around ,around ,around again crossing the floor in flight. Music, clarions, angels singing as next she softly spoke " do you know?" The question rocked, but did ot frighten, for i suspected, yet i did not answer. Just i smiled my softest, as if i were deeply enamored. Turn
around and spin we flew before next she spoke" I am not used to being denied!" in a soft throaty chuckle. "Then shall we stop?" I softly returned, though it felt like moving a mountain this effort to enforce my own will. I slowed in preparedness to do as i spoke. Harder she did clutch my arm as her angles voice returned "No" " For i find I am enjoying this" As true a smile as i have yet seen dawned slow upon her upturned face "{voices shouting?}"knees melting from this heat, heart hammering in my "{compresions?"} chest, holding ,forcing clutching will, still i continued this
dance. With such perfection within my arms i felt {lips apon mine brutal, stale burning breath forceing}..........? the dance floor truly empty as i shook as if from a dream,but within my arms still was she, perfection,.. i faded ....on a grassy slope ,ambulance crew working feverish......dancing with my angel on a dusty floor....Get over here!! He may make it yet!!..."ah my love for now you have escaped "angels whisperd so very tender, "but i will be there in your dreams"
For awile they enforced coma to help my body heal from my accident, They say{shudder } that one does not dream in that state, i feel otherwise even if i will not remember. Now i wake as a matter of coures, screaming from my dreams. For she is always waiting. Death. My love. In dreams.
Back to the Heart-on-Sleeve Corner