By Gala
Date: 12 September 2000
Claims Department
Good Morning Sir---
May we help you?
Oh----yes
one woman's heart,
in orignal package
oh dear----
and you say it was in this condition
when you opened it?
Well, we want the customer to be happy.
Please feel free to choose another
as a replacement...
What? But sir---
This heart is broken!
Oh perhaps it can be mended---
but it will never look the same,
never work the same way,
and there are others you can have---
we'll even offer you an upgrade.
Surely you don't want merchandise
that has been obviously abused,
mistreated
battered like this?
Very well sir.
If you are determined---
but there are no refunds.
If you take it home
in this condition
we cannot promise
that it will perform
as expected.
Excuse me?
You want all the pieces?
Yes sir......
here you go.
And you should forgive me for saying,
but I can't imagine
why you would opt
for a handyman special--
a real fixer-upper...but if that's what you wish.
The customer is always right.
A little crazy---
but always right.
Next?
Back to the Heart-on-Sleeve Corner