By From my first love
Date: 13 September 2000

A letter to me


           Dedicated to My only true love
                     Susannah


The days seem confusing because I'm still losing the
one that I love you were always my dove.

Your last few poems seem sarcastic but the sex is
fantastic so who am I to judge I cant hold  a grudge.


I tell you My dear that you will always be near,and I
miss you today now where shall I stay?


I am sorry to hear that the ring that you fear is
tucked away with the memories of the past,oh God if
you only knew how I wanted it to last:(

To know that a Man with some other plan wants you to
be His wife,now what must I do it has always been true
but seems I must  give up My life.

I wanted you forever to be together through better or
worse,but now to see that you would much rather be,
has become My own dam curse.

What must I do to prove it to you that I am for real,I
dont lie,cheat or steal.is it sureal?

I try to be the best person but things always worsen
so maybe I try to hard.but that is Me and maybe
someday you'll see,the love I have from afar.

The things you say you have done,it has only begun and
wanted you to know,that I miss you so.All I really
wanted was some of your loving, to share because I
really honestly care.

I could be a creep and walk around cheap but why cant
you see that will never be Me someday I hope you
do,but till then I am blue to know you are in the arms
of another, why do I bother.you have taught me so well
the times that were swell the meaning of love,your
still my dove.


An perfect Angel I see, when your with Me,then why am I
glum,or maybe just dumb.How come the fire always
desire never ends with you,when I see you now I just
want to bow for the woman who made me a man,but with
no plan???


Now you are proud to wear a ring from another why must
I be  the other?? I love you more today than when you
went away, for telling Me I was wrong,but you know I
am strong.

The cards have been dealt and so much I felt,  Now to
discover you with another, heartbroken,
For only can make my heart melt

What must I say to take you away from one that you
love,would it be right or would we still fight because
I am from the past,and it was a blast but  now you
know I did want it to last.


and in the end you can always pretend, that there will
be another ,But why cant you see it should Only be ME ,

I am so proud that you have allowed  Me to  keep in
touch,My dear if you knew how I want you so much:)


But how do I do this if only I knew this, where when
and how.There are times My dear I wish you were near
so we could stear on the path that we started,but now
I wish only your kiss but know you are with another?


What I did not discover is your love for another now
what must I do?I told you for years and yes through
some tears I am in love with you:( and will always be
true.


The leaves start falling and this is My calling to
you,that the day you left with so much regret has
always left me so blue.


so now your away and wait for some day that true love
will come to you, but you missed it my dear it was all
so clear that I was the ONLY one for you


Now I sit here surprised that all of My life I knew
what would make Me happy,to love someone you cannot
have does make you feel heartbroken,miserable and crappy.


I was a man who had a great plan but you left Me to
die and to this day I cry why did she leave that summer?


I am aware I will always be there ,but sometime you"ll
see it should have been Me in your arms as your
lover:(

            I hope this does not upset you
           as I will always respect you for the times you
           gave to me. I was fool and acted way too cool,
           thinking time would always be mine, Now I sit here and
            reflect upon, all these days and nights without you.  


            Baby I miss you and love you very much
            
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