By sarah iristakeroot@juno.com
Date: 5 September 2000

your reality....

I opened up the dryer, and picked up your clothes.  Holding their warmth close to my body.  Then closing my eyes and imagining the warmth of you in those clothes, your smell.  I held your shirts to my nose, and sniffed at them.  Capturing the scent of you for a moment, i kept your shirts pinned to my nose the whole time i walked up the steep curving old creaky wooden steps to your bedroom. I saw your bed rumpled, the imprint of your head on your pillow yet and your jeans tossed on the floor, with the shape your thighs still echoing in the fallen legs. I saw where you socks had fallen after you flung them off your feet when you fell onto you bed.  I dropped your clothing there, and thought of the room that was empty without you to fill it.  I told you once that i watched you while you were sleeping, if i would wake up at night.  Your eyes widened, and asked me why.  I said because your peaceful for once, and you are able to escape, if only for a few precious hours at a time.  I would prop myself onto my hand, on a elbow balancing. The curve of your nose that turns up just a little and flares at the nostrils, and your lips that look pouty even if you aren't pouting, and i do anything to get those lips to part into a smile.  Oh how i love your smile, it brightens, and it makes me kiss you and hug you.  Your blonde eyelashes, and your blonde forearms that glitter in the sunlight, i look at your arms when they hold me, your spun gold arms. You ask me if i love you, and i tell you, do you need to ask.  But i need that assurance as well.  Looking at you isn't meerly enough for me.  Though at times it is, and smelling you can fill me for a few moments.  Memories are nothing compared to reality with you. Memories and thoughts of you can hold me for a day until i see you at night and sleep next to you.  But the reality of you keeps bringing me back at night.  I don't sleep next to thoughts and memories, i sleep next to a warm body and tender arms and hands.  I sleep next to eyes that are closed with soft curving blonde eyelashes.  I sleep next to a huge heart that allows worlds in, and returns universes. So i smell your clothes as i fold them, and hold them to me.And wait for evening to fall, i wait for your reality.
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