By Christopher David
Date: 17 September 2000
Thinking of You
Today was rough, babygirl. In many ways. Not the least of which was the knowledge that you were hurting deeply. And here I sat, just a few hours away, that might as well be a million miles, for all the good that does. But I want you to know, if there was any way possible that I could be there, hold you tightly in my arms and kiss away the tears, I would. And one day I will be. As has been so wisely commented and sang about, to everything there is a season. A time to hurt and a time to heal. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grow and a time to rest. This is our time apart, and we have that time together in front of us yet.
I drove out to the woods later this evening. And walked deep into the green to my tree. You know the one...my 'thinking tree'. And as I sat on the low hanging limb, worn smooth from my many visits before, I let my spirit walk the night. It found solace in the flow of nature, and the glow of the starshine. The same now as it was thousands of years ago. And the moon had your smile. And by studying it profoundly, I realized that you were no longer crying. To the contrary, I could almost hear your magical laugh. Ending in that beautiful giggle...the one I love to hear in unending love? So I knew the emotional crisis had passed. And that knowledge brought my own tears. Not because you were happy. Or made it through without my help. But because of the lost opportunity. The lost chance for me to hold you while you cried. The lost chance to stroke your hair softly, and whisper in your ear that it would all be okay. That I would damn well make it all okay! And the lost chance to coax a small smile through your tears, to make you smile in spite of the underlying pain. The lost chance to make love to you so very tenderly and slowly that you would forget every pain and hurt in the world, as you lost yourself in the glowing touch of love, of me.
Ah, babygirl. Don't be sad for me now. This will pass. And all those lost chances will be forgotten on the day you look into my eyes. The day you come into my arms and squeal with delight at the strength you feel there. The love you will see and believe. And the comfort in the knowledge that we not only have a life to live together, but an eternity to love forever.
I'm thinking of you right this minute babygirl. Are you thinking of me too?
Back to the Heart-on-Sleeve Corner