By Misti Lake
Date: 11 March 2001
Are You There, God? It's Me, Misti
are you there, god?
it's me...misti
i hope you're there
'cause i need some help
god, i hate my job
god, i want to become a radiology assistant
so that i can make more money
and send screenplays to hollywood
god, my husband is still sleeping
make him wake up and not be grumpy
we've got to get ready and go look at a couch
that's for sale
god...we've got roaches
kill them and make them disappear
please.
i put two roach motels in the pantry
i guess i should buy some more
or maybe call an exterminator
but i am broke
because last night
i bought "to die for" and "kurt & courtney"
and "immortal beloved" and "in the company of men"
at blockbuster's
but god!
they were only $2.99 each!
i was enraptured!
almost orgasmic
...that's another problem
god, i can't remember the last time i achieved orgasm
maybe it's the depo-provera
my husband is losing patience
i only want to have sex in the morning
i don't feel romantic
my mind is always going
going on a safari
going shopping
going BOING! BOING! BOING!
like tigger
winnie the pooh's bouncy friend
god...i can only tolerate this life
when i am writing or making collages
or watching movies
or walking along the beach
or eating the buffet at golden corral
and i think about death
more than i should
if i should die before i wake
would you take my soul
or rake it over the coals
or would i be like catherine
in wuthering heights?
are ghosts real, god?
i don't believe in reincarnation
for obvious reasons
god, if you can do nothing else for me today
please let my period cease
i'm sick of all the blood.
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