By Michael T (hungrily)
Date: 3 March 2001

Dinner

Imagine
A hungry dragon playing checkers with a dainty damsel
a delicately delectable dish that dangles
this tender, lithe body mere inches away
from a envy green, ravenous, fire breathing monster
with sharp pointy teeth and big empty stomach.

No matter how much they mutually enjoy each other's company
in the truest sense of companionship
which includes shared mutual interests:
such as hoarding expensive gold and jewelry,
or happily playing with little children
(gotta throw 'em back until they got more meat on them)
and common goals: to sleep in as late as possible,
investing in real estate with high ceilings, cavernous interiors, immaculately decorated with priceless treasures,
and to live a leisurely life after gathering a hoard of wealth
and watching it's value appreciate --
despite all this
they can only be friends for so long.

When the dragon isn't getting a meal elsewhere
it doesn't really matter if damsel is chaste and virginal,
or if she's married to a king,
or even if her daddy is an experienced dragonslayer
serving 8 years in the state penitenary for chopping her last boyfriends hands off for getting too fresh on the second date..

Dragons get hungry.
And maidens taste good.
Really good.
Especially dipped in chocolate.
maybe with strawberries on the side

Now a maiden should NOT get upset when her platonic dragon friend says he'd think she'd make a great meal.
It's a compliment ..
It's not like he'd spend some ridiculous amount of time with her to bring her guard down
Pull--eazzzE.
Dragon's don't have to get your guard down
If a dragon's in the mood to talk
he'll talk
and if he's going to burn you to a crisp and chomp you in half
he'll burn you into a crisp and chomp you and half
damsel flambe
He really did enjoy the conversation and entertainment
he's just hungry too.

Now the dragon can go get something else to eat
But that's not satisfying
chewing on some coarse villager
snapping up some randome lady passing through
Hi. Fry. Gormandize.
It's not satisfying.
Plus -- dragons have a demanding palate.
They know what they want, they know the taste they're looking for.
And besides, even dragons have that psychological problem
They want to have the damsel and eat her too.
Feed their gullet and their heart at the same time.

And there's a side benefit to being able to feed their gullet and their heart at the same time.
When the damsel is just talking way way to much, the dragon can just start to nibble on the damsel a little bit
usually shuts them right up..
unless the nibbling becomes full fledged munching
and sometimes that just makes it worse though because they start screaming
but that usually doesn't last too long
eventually the damsel stops shuddering

Now sometimes damsels will say to the dragon
why don't you go out and get youself something to eat?
You look famished you poor thing.
You should be out destroying villages and having fair maidens sacrificed to your ferocious beastliness.
And the dragon will move its mouth a bit somewhat stupefied
trying to come up with words that explain the situation that don't include condescending terms
like stupid
because she really isn't, she's just not paying attention to the fact that she's talking to a dragon..
"I'm hungry for you - you silly woman."

Anyway, you'll often find that dragons will be unable to help themselves
they'll chat away with a damsel for a while
one they were interested in eating immediately
but for some reason didnt
become fast friends
and then reach the point where they say go away
or I'll eat you.

So don't get offended damsels.
you sometimes silly, selfish, simple little things.
It's not you.
It's us.
Dragons get hungry.
And we don't enjoy sitting in the room with a meal
we promised not to eat.

dames...it's what's for dinner.
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