By Misti Lake                              newlywednutso@hotmail.com
Date: 10 March 2001

God is Telling Us Something

my back hurts
I need to start doing situps
I need to start drinking more milk
but you think I look sexy in my new black pushup bra
purchased from K-Mart for nine bucks

I bark at you
you wince
and head for the balcony

I'm sorry I'm not Amanda
I don't smoke a bowl a day
I'm sorry I'm not Michelle
I didn't inspire *Was it Spring Again*
I'm sorry I'm not the other girl
with blonde hair and a new outlook on life

I am mentally unstable and paranoid and ruthless
changes will be made, I tell you
I put three dollars in the piggy bank
three hundred dollars in the Wells Fargo bank
and I'm getting a catalogue from Lamar University
no, my love
I will not wipe snotty noses and tie shoelaces
and live paycheck to paycheck forever

I may never be Gayfryd
I know you'll never be Saul
I'm not whippet thin
and you're not Jewish
this is good
I could never wrangle my way
into high society
they would smell my fraud
a mile a way

but there will be a Spanish dream home
and a patio and pool with a fountain
on Baja, maybe
overlooking the Pacific
and I will find peace at last
staying up all night writing like a maniac
sleeping during the day with the phone off
and I will be rewarded

you can paint starry muchness paintings
and entertain our small circle of friends
in the den
with cigars and your eclectic cd collection

today I did another bad dye job on my hair
and you criticized my slice and bake cookies

today love creeps up then runs and hides
and I'm drained and exhausted
yet anxious for the surprises
peeking around the corner

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