By Megs
Date: 2 March 2001
I'm Far Away From Home and Myself
Should I stay or should I go?
Simple inquiry. Tossed out- occasionally when I need reassurance,occasionally
when I need a threat, mostly when I forget who I am.
These days I am inseperably entwined in you and your sorrows. When you move
your arm a little more than yesterday, this is my triumph. When something
makes you laugh, I can smile. When you shut yourself away from the world, I
find myself alone. I've forgotten how to cry for myself.
I took a big step towards home. Browsing online for airline tickets. It felt
like freedom already. You said "You would go if I told you to go. You would
stay if I told you to stay." It sounded like...a challenge. I knew you
thought that was true. I wondered if it really was.
But I have lost myself. As if I were in the car with you that day. As if my
soul got scraped against the Florida turnpike, cut up and mixed amongst pieces
of glass. Your bones heal daily. But the place where my soul once was will
always ache when it rains.
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