By Star Of David
Date: 14 March 2001
Reply to your proposal of marriage
Reply to your proposal of marriage.
The fact that you are bisexual, did not help when you asked me to marry you... We’ve been friends for years, and lovers for just 2 months...Can you blame me for hesitating over the marriage idea? You have double the rate of potential lovers out there...
When we were only friends, you’d tell me about the new guys you met and about which one you like most and why, and what you intend to do...You’d invite them over, and call me and be so excited...
Being open minded, I’d be happy for you, but then, we weren’t in love... And how can I forget your ranting and raving about some female lover, who makes you come with her feet?
Your blanking out, I can handle... Bring you slowly lovingly back to earth, like you know only I can do... It doesn’t scare me when you drift off, and totally forget everything that’s happening around you... It does not matter that you can’t handle responsibility, and expect to be taken care of like a child...
I do not worry about the other women so much. I can replace them all. They pose no real challenge to the love we share or to me.
But what about the guys? Can having me as your wife take away your need for “homosexual interactions”? If you were to put your other lovers and me on two sides of a scale, would my side give you more or less of what you really want?
Do you think you can still be the extra-ordinary artist you are, without these escapades, which you claim, free you and release the creativity inside? Now we are satisfied with sitting on a beach together making origami flowers... But will it still be that way once we’re married?
Do you realize this means not being able to go on romantic escapades for days on end with your other lovers whenever you feel like it, and having to stop doing all the crazy things you do?
But then again, if we were to get married, you’re gaining someone to comfort you when you are depressed and suicidal, to clean you up and put you to bed when you’re high on drugs and booze and who knows what else, to hold you when you’re having your usual nightmares, to sing to you, cook and clean for you, to listen for hours, to be there when you’re in your moods that no on else has so far been able to understand, to take the responsibility for all the things that have to be done, to do everything but paint, which you will do yourself...
And I gain a bisexual, self absorbed, suicidal, drinking, drug using, immature, insecure, moody, fantastic in bed, very lovable, childlike, sexy artist who has his beautiful moments...
But I can’t marry you...It’s not that you’re not good enough for me, for I am definitely far below the perfect mark, and I do love you...only because I can never picture you as a good father to my children and I owe them the best shot at a happy life when they are born. I guess it’s time I moved on...
(130301)
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