By Crystal
Date: 25 March 2001

Holding on

It has been a while,
since I have sat quietly alone,
   deep in thought...
with only my feeling for you to keep me company...
without a tap at  the door a phone to ring,
    or even tears falling from my face to distract me.

My hands are free to type,
whatever my heart wants to say...
and yet the words don't come so easily...as they used to.

It has become so very hard to describe,
what you mean to me..
   how much I love you...
  not because I can't find the words,
     but because it is not so simple to tell you,
   how much I love you.
   I guess a part of me has gone into the darkness,
hiding from the feelings that used to obviously be seen!

I don't spend the time I have had with you,
dreaming of spending the rest of our lives together,
and I nolonger wonder what it would be like...
for you to walk away from me....
   I know that feeling now, and you have said so many times before,
we will never be able to make this work.
    So I just enjoy the time I have with you,
                  not dreaming...
                     crying...
                   or showing any emotion at all.....
                 just hiding in the shadows of the way I used to feel....
                                   HOLDING ON!
  

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