By Misti Lake
Date: 18 March 2001
Apologies Are So Nothing
I should be asleep but I'm awake
thinking of you
missing you
regretting all the damage I have caused
all that I have put you through
I can apologize and cry until my head aches
but the words will never be erased
or forgotten
I let my hurt become your hurt
my mania isn't done with me yet
...maybe I overcompensate with little surprises from Target
Board messages and e-mail from my mom's house
but nothing will ever be enough
there will never be enough ways to say I'm sorry
and I love you
life would be so empty without your light
I've never been proactive
I've always played the victim
Mnemosyne
I remember everything
and make a documentary of anger and angst
that wows the critics
but never subdues the wild dogs
they howl and circle around
I don't know how to appease or kill them
this is not your fault
but the salt in the wound
has become your sea
escaping was always the answer
the easy out
but the route I'm planning now
is all about
return
Back to the Heart-on-Sleeve Corner