By Star Of David
Date: 14 March 2001
remember when we thought
Remember when we thought…
Remember when we thought we finally got pregnant…Well, when we thought I did, but you played a major part in it…we were so happy…unmarried and unemployed, far too young to think of starting a family…the crazy part is we weren’t even worried or scared or anything…guess love overshadows all the inherent problems that come along time to time…
Remember how you put your hand on my stomach, wondering if you’d feel anything different…how much sillier could we get when we only thought I was pregnant…it’s not like we’d see a change for a long time to come anyway…
Remember how we didn’t want to even tell others our big secret…how we wanted to share the happiness between ourselves for a while…we must have been high on love to not come down to earth and realize what we were doing to our lives and dreams…
But you cant deny the joy that arrives when you think you have a symbol of your love, love that blinds you to everything else…like our future and education and freedom and whatever else that matters…
I’m sure we were crazy…there’s no other explanation…if we thought about it sensibly at the time we would have realized that my parents and your dad would simply lose control, but your mum…now that I think of it, she would have been on our side…but we wouldn’t have even had our friends ‘cause most of them want to go out with one of us. Remind me again why we stayed friends with them.
Remember how we went to that little church near the beach and sat and held hands and prayed…it was so late when we finally got home. We spoke so much in the following days…planned the names and how we’d bring up the baby…where we’d live…both of us never even mentioned the problems we’d have to face…maybe we didn’t want to face reality just yet…we had enough painful things in our lives and families, and even in our relationship, to make us try to hold on for as long as we could to the euphoric feeling we got when thinking of having a baby…
Finally, down to earth 3 weeks later (what took that long?) We weren’t pregnant…walked out of the doctor’s…felt sad about having to let go of the dreams we had during the past few days…but not really sad that we weren’t going to have a baby…it would have been utterly ridiculous at that time…Just when the whole world was waiting to be explored…so many new things to discover, to experience…but the experience of “maybe…we’re pregnant…“ is one I will never forget…and I wouldn’t even change it if I could…
Wasn’t it fun…we were so “on top of the world” simply because we thought we did what people and animals around the world do everyday…wish I knew where you were so we could go through it again… with a positive answer from the doctor for a change…
(130301)
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