By jeph wright
Date: 29 March 2001
iLlbLeEd
I wrote this after the last time I talked to you on the phone when I tried to exlain myself to you but it didn't seem to matter so here it is in words and I wrote a little more these past few days but here it is, and yes every word is true
please read this okay?
just read it for me
I love you more then life itself
I do
I meant every word that I said
I didnt hold anything back
I wanted you to know how I felt
I am going to write now and I want you to read this
this is what is coming from inside my heart right now
Please jsut read it it would mean alot to me okay
When I told you I loved you?
was it a game?
no was it the truth yes in so many ways it was me standing there waiting for you to lean forward take a leap of faith,
to take my hand and walk up the stairs at which at the top you
knew not what was there but only that you would be there with me,
with me and you the real you , not afraid of anything nor anyone or how the world would look at you,
where you woudlnt be blinded by anything not true or drowning in a pool of false destiny you would be there,
with me and I alone would protect you.
and I alone would be there to keep you warm, to make you happy, never to be sad, to love one another for all eternity
I do think we are soulmates and I believe it is destiny that brought us together.
fate saw how unhappy and sad and alone we both were and rbought us together
for each of us to give each other warmth and to hold one another and for me to give you my heart and you to give me yours
your are my light my bright shining light that kept me out fo the cold and for that I thank you and I will spend the rest of my life just as I swore to you I would keeping you happy
baby I never want to make you sad
every tear I shed made me think about every second I have ever thought of you and how you made me feel from the first day I met you how it seemed strange you trying to get rid fo me but how I kept trying and trying
I felt compelled to you that I knew you and I was supposed to make you happy
you are an angel
I am sorry that you took what I said wrong I only meant that I know death bothers you and I was wanting to know if you wanted to talk about it
I wanted to make you feel better I wanted to make you smile again I didn't want you to be cold and sad and I didnt want you to be in the cold I wanted you to know that I am here for you and I wanted you to talk to me about it
I have had to go to 17 funerals in the past 3 years
that is alot
alot of death more then I think anyone should ever have to go through I just wanted to be there for you and then you said that I didnt understand why though
I love you so much and I need you
please
dont leave me
dont leave me all alone please
I told you I will beg you until the day I die I love you so much
when you said you loved me
it made me feel so good
made me feel you needed me
it WILL work out
I swear it will
Ill spend everyday of my life making you know that you are the most important and greatest thing that I have ever had in my life
I will spend everyday in eternity showing you how special you are to me
I'm sorry I'm not there yet
I will be soon
I'm sorry if I hurt you, you know I would never do that in a million years
and I do love you
with all of my heart
and I will spend forever showing you that you are the love of my life
and I do love you more than life itself
I'm sorry for upsetting you tonight and I hope you can udnerstand that I didnt mean to
baby you are my everything
you are
I dont want to be locked away in that cold place that Hell I spent most of my life in, in the cold dark gray and alone place
You have my heart I gave it to you
I hope I still have yours
I hope what I have said proves I am serious about you and that I will love you everyday until I die and then we can spend all eternity together
baby I wanna grow old with you
I want to be the best of anything you could ever want
And I want to thank you
I want to thank you for being there for me always
I want to thank you for being the sunlight on my cloudy and rainy days
I want to thank you for being the most beautiful thing I have ever seen
I want to thank you for being wiht my in my dreams until I can hold you in my arms
I want to thank you for holding my heart and keeping me so happy
I want to thank you for taking my trust and never showing me I was wrong
want to thank you for being you
and I want to thank you for letting me love you
and I want to apologize to you too
I'm sorry for not being there to hold you when you were sad but I want you to know I was right there with you in your heart
I'm sorry for not being able to dance with you in the rain like little kids
I'm sorry if I ever let you down
and I'm sorry if I ever made you sad
and I'm sorry if I wasn't everything your dreams said I was
but you are everything to me everything I could ever want.
Becase you are you and you never tried to lie to me or lead me to believe anything else
you make me so happy
and I don't want to end this
please
give me another chance
say it's not too late
It would be the biggest mistake of both of our lives if we aren't together I know that
I think you do too dont you
and ME WUV YOU SHO MUCH
:)
that makes you smile doesnt it
before I met you I was afraid of life, death, and everything in between, but then I met you and you held my hand
and I wasn't afraid anymore
I was glad I was alive
and with you
baby I need you so much
I love you mroe then anything in this life and anything else I could ever have more then life itself
what you always told me wasnt it?
and you know I feel the same way about you
I always have
I NEED YOU
I do
if not ill be like an old flower that just shrivers up and dies
because it had no warmth love water air and sun
you are all that to me
you are my everything
and I want to thank you for being you being there for me and letting me love you
you are my moon, my sun, the beautiful flowers that you see in the springtime that you can't stop staring at, or admiring
you are the rose I want to kiss and the sun I want to let keep me warm
please dont leave me and dontlet this end
please I am begging you
I have never begged for anything in my life
and cried only before when I was thinking and the thought of us beign so happy....it's jsut amazing,
how I coudl go from feeling so alone to feeling like I was on top of the world
I love you
well I guess I have wrote alot but I wanted to say what all I coudlnt say before
I love you very very very much sweetheart
and to me you mean the world to me
I hope I still make you feel the same
please say you love me
please be thinking that right now baby
I love you sweetheart
I do I do I do
I can't say that enuff
everything in the past 2 years
basically my life
because when I met you was when I felt so alive
it has all been for you
and I love you
so much
and I hope you still love me wiht all your heart
and I hope I do mean everything to you
Thank you for letting me love you
I miss you baby
I do so much
please come back to me
goodnight
and I love you
every since you said that baby
it felt like my whole world was crumbling around me
please
just say that it isn't over baby
please I am begging you
Give me another chance
please
if you do I SWEAR I will never let u be sad again
please
just dont say it's over
I love you very very very much
I do
and I wanted you to know that
and I want you to know that I will for all eternity and the rest of both of our lives
right now I miss you so much and I feel so alone
I need to hear your voice right now
need to hear you say everything is alright and that you love me too
thank you for loving me
I'll make sure that you will never regret saying it
I love you princess
and that is a promise that I will for all eternity
love,
Jeffrey
I LOVE YOU SOOO VERY MUCH BABY
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