By Megs
Date: 12 January 2001

Her Lover Dies Inside

The change is so deep it manifests itself even in the tiniest physical traits.  His eyes are darker.  Muddled gray.  He reacts cautiously.  His words taste bitter with resentment.

And she watches him like some casual observer would.  Suddenly he is like a stranger.  No longer the strong willed lover who taught her to laugh at life's trivia.  Today he rages over traffic and ill-trained receptionists.  So maybe its worse than seeing a stranger.  More like a man possessed.  Yes, haunted.  

Haunted.  The perfect word for his eyes.  The ideal description for his restless sleep.  The reason for his constant defensive stances.   She knows, of course, the names of every ghost.  The accident.  His brother.  His body.  His future.  Money.  Lawyers.  Insurance.  The trivia- the papers to be signed.  The phone calls to return.  The needs neglected.  Each hang over his head, terrifying unknown apparitions to be reckoned with.  

Hard to lose him to ghosts and shadows.  She watches him and worries somehow he is dying as well.  Frusturating.  She wants to scream the lessons he must learn.  Love the ones who are left here.  Who cry for you.  Love me.  I cannot help you enough, but please know I would change it all if only I could.  

But tonight she only kisses him and winds her arms around him in the new strange embrace they have learned.  He clings to her for a long second and then retreats into the shadows alone.

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