By Larissa, beaner8269@yahoo.com
Date: 27 January 2001
I don't know How to feel
I thought that once I got here, everything would be spelled out for me.
What to do, who to be. I thought I had it all figured out...hey I was going to college right? Where it all is supposed to fall into place. I want someone to listen me, but no one hears my cries. I guess I need attention. I am not getting what I expected people to give. I want someone to care, no one cares for me how I want them to. Am I ever going to find my way out of this darkness? Sometimes all you need to know is that someone cares for you. I am not feeling that right now. I act the way I do to cover things up...why? I don't know. I don't know anything. I want to have my life figured out and I am so far from that feeling. Not knowing what to do or what to say and only desiring someones shoulder to cry on. That shoulder has not been around for a long time. As long as I can remember. Are my actions cries to be heard? Cries for attention? Cries of neglect, or of my own self-destruction. I am going to change, I do not want to bring people down with me. I need someone to lift me up, to understand me and to love me how I need to be loved.
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