By Ali
Date: 17 January 2001
Self-Imposed
This tiredness
Hangs from my bones
Like ill-fitting clothing
This horror hovers
Around me
A cloud
Of perhaps
Invited
Self-imposed
Tragedy
Sadness somehow
Has crept
Into my eyes
But, if you saw me
You probably wouldn't know
Wouldn't guess
That I recently had
My heart broken
Because I put on a mask
In the form
Of a smile
And say all the things
That one is
Supposed to say
I tell them he's a jerk
And that
If I saw him
I'd let him have
A peice of my mind
But I just don't know
If that's true
I want to believe
That I'm wrong
I want to believe
That what he said
Was true
I fancy that he had
Good reason
To do what he did...
But, I'm hurt
And I'm exhausted
From all these games
I need something solid
Right now
Something real
To behold
To belive
Because I'm so sick
Of illusions...
I try to see ahead
Ahead of this minute
Beyond how I feel
But I can't seem
To get past
This blockage
This wall
To get beyond
This pale reflection
This shadow
Of myself
Your memory
Prevents me
Or at least gives me
Excuse...
I'm almost afraid
No, I am afraid
That you'll show up
Tomorrow
And turn my life
Completly inside-out
For it is only partially
Upside down
Today...
That you'll tell me
Everything
That I want
So badly to hear
Regardless of the fact
That it
Might not
Be true
And I'm weak
Right now
Have been
Since you left
And I just don't know
Exactly what
I'd do
I don't know if I can
Believe anything
That you say
Or more correctly
If I should
Because the world calls you
A liar
And that is something
I'm pressed to believe...
But the world does not
Know you
As I do...
But, there's an interesting
Possibility
Which is that, perhaps
I truly
Don't know you
At all...
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