By Elaina 
Date: 29 January 2001

January 29, 2001

It's been a long time,
since I've cried myself to sleep.
I'm not quite here anymore,
but my memories I keep.

Lost, I look to you for answers.
Yet you bring only more tears.
I've surfaced all the feelings,
and subsided the all my fears.

For I thought I was fixed,
but you prove me broken.
You need not say a thing,
I know the words, however unspoken.

I've lost a fear and gained another.
I thought I saw more than what's really there.
You...I had myself fooled.
Now I'm here trying not to care.

My hands are shaking
as I write how I feel.
You're sitting next to me,
and I can't hide what's real.

I know I'm dramatic,
and things could be worse.
I'm under your spell,
and now I know, indeed, it's a curse.

I can't walk away.
I don't know what's right.
I broke down my wall,
and of what's true...I've lost all sight.

Sobing and broken my body aches.
Tired of this place.
Sick of this game.
I'm giving up this race.

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