By Elaina
Date: 28 January 2001
Loss Of Inspiration
Today I tried to
write a poem for
you. I had to write
it down because I
could never say it
to your face. I
wrote all my reasons
and explained myself
completely. Not for
me but for you so
you wouldn't get
scared. However,
every time I was
about three lines
away from the finish
my computer would
disconnect and all
my thoughts erased
with it. So this is
my last and final
attempt and if my
computer disconnects
I was apparently not
suppose to tell you.
So here it goes...
Just in case I never
get the chance to tell
you, just in case I never
have the courage I
wanted you to know...
I love you. with no
explaination, with no
reasons. I love you.
It's anything super
specail, I've felt
this way before.
It's just I've
always been in control.
And even when I apeared
broken and hurt 40% of
it was for show.
I've always thought
I had to manipulate
them into loving me,
and I can't do that
with you. I've lost
all my senses. I can't
think strait. You've
changed the rules.
Caught me in your
web, whether you meant
to or not I'm stuck.
I see and feel things
with you that I've never
felt with anyone else
before. And yet I can't
explain it and I don't
feel I have the concept
of love anymore. I faught
so hard not to love you.
And I'm still trying to
conceal it. I feel my
weakness sliping through.
And all rain of my confusion
is falling onto you.
I'm soory I feel the need
to unburden myself to you.
But you said you wanted
me to open up. And if
you asked me I'd say it
to your face. I'm at
that point where I'd
tell you anything if
you asked.
Well, it hasn't
disconnected and I've
said all I need to say.
I hope my instincts
don't fail me now.
Back to the Heart-on-Sleeve Corner