By TheDubalPoet
Date: 17 January 2001

The man behind the mask

Staring intently at my presence in the reflection
A fresh dew on my head and clean shine about my face
I look at the day a new

Yesterday seems so far behind, and yet
The memories run fresh in my concience
And escaping the torture of my thoughts seem like a fading dream

Still, I wipe my face with a scraggly red towel
Peer into those dark brown eyes with intent
Only to say... who are you?

I recognized the ever present figure of sadness
Eyes that have suffered much rain
A mouth that has been excersied in routine

A vagues picture of what was, now stares me down
My heart cripples at the image of myslef
As I realize that the 'man in the mirror', is the man behind the mask

No crowds left to entertain
Yet my body feels the urge to be led like a puppet
Into a play full of lust, lies, and long life

A war rages in that head behind the wrinkled brow,
But not even the thick reddish brown hair
can keep my mind from being seen

Yet I continue my pursuit of death
Trying to live a life that was once hoped to be forgotten
Still lingering in my  soul

As the lights dim down, and the people walk to their seats
The mask sits upon my dresser, and leaves me
Contemplating one last performance

Will I ever end this masquerade?
Or just continue dancing in the spotlight?
My body is getting worn and my spirit is becoming broken

The mask now embraces faded colors
With a large crack in the center
Illuminating it's age

Finally, I come to the realization
That all I have seen, is behind this one mask
What if I went on stage without it?

Will I still be able to entertain everyone around me
or become an offense to their eyes?
I set my decision in stone, tossing the aging mask towards the trash

With the curtain still closed
A last contemplation rages inside
To go back to the room and grab my disguise

With a sudden thunder of clapping and cheers
My door to freedom now awaits me
At the announcing of my fame

Staggering on stage scared and tense
I hear utter silence from my crowd
Fearing the worst I hid my frown and embarrasment

I longed to reach for that mask once more
Only to hear the laughs and applaud
Of a crowd now entagled in their dilema

I turned my attention to one who arose up in the middle
Among everyone in the crowd
Sounding his approval of my success

Squinting to notice my admirer from the bright lights
Who would risk such embarrassment to stand up for me?
Who would take such a scolding for my sake?

He was not ashamed in the least bit
sounding deafining cheers of delight
of the man behind the mask

Who is it I pleaded!!!
Who has encouraged this man behind the mask!!!?
I ran off staged humiliated by the people in the crowd

All but one despised the real me!!
My tears sat in puddles under my eyes
questioning everything I was

The man approached my saddened figure
with his arms wide spread
as he knelt and embraced me

He whispered in my ear
That he had sat through all my shows
And wept through each one

Dissapointed and saddened by the mask I wore
the man faithfully kept appearing at my performances
Constantly hoping for a better encore

After a long anticipation
you have showed me the courage of a lion
with a fierce change in direction

You have embraced who you really are
Showing everyone you are not ashamed
Of who I created you to be!!

The man sat there weeping with me until the wee hours
Never leaving me, holding my heart in his hand
And never squeezing too tight

Comforted I anxiously peered into his face
and saw the glory at a priceless love
That gave me new life

Whatever I held true up to that day
I  now throw away with ease
For Jesus has allowed the real me to appear


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